Laugh: Jokes and Humor : PaintSquare

TODAY'S JOKE

SUGGEST A JOKE

HUMOR ARCHIVE

TODAY'S JOKE

SUGGEST A JOKE

HUMOR ARCHIVE

Jokes and Other Diversions

May 10, 2013

Truths for Mature Adults

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet that on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Miller Lite than with Kay.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -- but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Current Item rating: 4.0 out of 5

Rate this Item: