Jokes and Other Diversions
March 15, 2013
Sam and John were out cutting wood when John accidentally cut his arm off. Sam remained calm, wrapped the arm securely in a plastic bag, and immediately took John and his arm to a surgeon.
“You’re in luck,” said the surgeon. “I am an expert in re-attaching limbs. Come back in four hours when I have completed the operation.”
So Sam returned in four hours and the surgeon said, “I did it faster than I expected. John is down at the pub.”
Sam rushed down to the pub and was amazed to see John playing darts with his newly re-attached arm.
A few weeks later, Sam and John were out cutting wood again when John accidentally cut his leg off.
Having some experience with this type of situation, Sam put the leg snugly in a plastic bag and took it and John back to the same surgeon.
“Legs are a bit harder,” said the surgeon, “but I’ll see what I can do – come back in six hours.”
Sam returned in six hours and the surgeon said, “I finished early – John’s out playing football.”
Sam went to the field and to his surprise found John kicking 50 meter torpedoes.
A few weeks later, Sam and John were cutting wood again, when John accidentally cut off his own head. (John was a rather clumsy individual.)
Sam put the head in a plastic bag, tied it tightly, and took it, and the rest of John to the surgeon, confident that the skillful surgeon could do the job.
“Gee, heads are very difficult to re-attach,” the surgeon muttered, “but I’ll see what I can do – come back in 12 hours.”
Sam returned in 12 hours.
“How did it go, Doc?” he asked.
“I’m sorry, Sam, but John died,” the surgeon replied.
Aghast, Sam asked, “But how did he die? I thought you were an expert surgeon!”
“I’m afraid you suffocated him with the plastic bag.”
Current Item rating: 3.1 out of 5
Previous items from the past weeks
March 14, 2013
Changing Lightbulbs
How many politicians...
March 14, 2013
Love & Sex
During an exercise at a couples retreat...
March 13, 2013
Men and Women
A woman worries...
March 13, 2013
The Harmonica Test
A newly married sailor...
March 12, 2013
Line Striper
A 17-year-old boy...
March 12, 2013
Cough Syrup
The owner of a drug store...
March 11, 2013
A Guide to Man Talk
I was listening...
March 11, 2013
The Panhandler
A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him $10...
March 8, 2013
Golfers in Heaven
On the golf course, George slices...
March 8, 2013
Fish Tale
A fisherman from the city...