Jokes and Other Diversions


January 14, 2013

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.


Current Item rating: 2.6 out of 5

Rate this Item:

...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
 
   

Previous items from the past weeks

January 11, 2013
Room in Heaven
My 10-year-old son...

January 11, 2013
Labor Pains
A pregnant woman goes into labor...

January 10, 2013
In Demand
Jim went to his boss...

January 10, 2013
What the puck?
The first testicular guard...

January 9, 2013
Steven Wrightisms
It’s a small world...

January 9, 2013
The Cure
Beware the overconfident doctor...

January 8, 2013
Lying About Your Age
Bob, a 70-year-old...

January 8, 2013
2 + 2 = what?
A teacher was having trouble teaching math...

January 7, 2013
Steven Wrightisms
Every so often, I like to stick...

January 7, 2013
My Dad's Better Than Your Dad
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging...