The following are real answers received on exams from California’s Traffic School for moving-violation offenders.
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can’t see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”
Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing up your car?
A: Always wear a condom.
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave “hello” if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.