Jokes and Other Diversions


May 29, 2019

Top 10 Things Dads Will Never Say

10.  Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask directions!

9.  You know, Pumpkin, now that you're 13, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8.  I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude. ... I like that.

7.  Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. Go crazy!

6.  What do you mean, you want to play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, Son?

5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend; you might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doohickey things that makes it run. Have it towed to a mechanic, and I’ll pay whatever he asks.

3.  No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring! Now quit your bellyaching, and let's go to the mall.

2.  What do you want to go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend!

1.  Father's Day? Ah, don't worry about that. It's no big deal.


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