Jokes and Other Diversions

August 21, 2023

Splitting It

A young man watched as an elderly couple sat down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, etc., until each had exactly half.

Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, but his wife just sat watching him.

The young man felt sorry for them and asked "I'm sorry to intrude, but would you allow me to purchase another meal for your wife so that you don't have to split your food?"

The older gentleman said, "Oh, no, thank you. You see, we've been married a long time, and everything has always been shared, 50/50."

The young man said, "Wow! That's commendable." He then turned to the wife and asked, "Aren't you going to eat your share?"

The wife replied "Not yet. It's his turn to use the teeth."

Current Item rating: 3.7 out of 5

Rate this Item:

2 3 4 HI-larious

Previous items from the past weeks

August 18, 2023
Sports One-Liners
Today a man...

August 17, 2023
Letters Home
Dear dad...

August 16, 2023
Dr. One-Liner
My doctor told me...

August 15, 2023
Golf Cheat
Sid and Barney...

August 14, 2023
Tattle Tale
A man who is...

August 11, 2023
On Guard
An Englishman, a Scotsman...

August 10, 2023
Smartest Man
A lawyer, a priest...

August 9, 2023
The Devil's Due
The priest was...

August 8, 2023
Guard Dog
There was a hound...

August 7, 2023
Run for Your Life
Two hunters were...