A lawyer went duck hunting for the first time in Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of the fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked what he was doing.

The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck, it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property and you’re not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you for everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule.”

The lawyer asked, “What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?”

The farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.” The attorney thought that he could easily take the old codger and agreed to fight.

The farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. The second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The lawyer was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick nearly finished him off.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will, managing to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot! Now, it’s my turn!”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have your duck.”