Jokes and Other Diversions

February 18, 2021

If She Had a Hammer

From the bench, the judge says to the defendant, “You’re charged with beating your husband to death with a hammer.”

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “Lousy scum!”

The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your father-in-law to death with a hammer.”

The voice again yells out, “Rotten schmuck!”

The judge stops and addresses the heckler, “Ma'am, I understand your pain at these crimes. But no more outbursts, or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”

The woman stands up and says, “I’m sorry, your honor, but I’ve lived next door to her for 15 years--and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, she said she didn’t have one!”

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