Jokes and Other Diversions


February 15, 2021

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

A man came home from work one afternoon to find his house in mayhem. His three kids were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud. Empty food boxes and wrappers were thrown all over the front yard. The doors to his wife’s car and his house were both open.

Stepping inside, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp was smashed, and a rug was wadded up against one wall. In one room, the TV was blaring a cartoon channel; in another, toys and clothes were everywhere.

The kitchen sink was filled with dirty dishes, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a pile of sand lay blocked the back door.

The man ran upstairs, jumping toys and dirty laundry, to find his wife lounging in bed, still in her pajamas, reading a novel.

“What the hell happened here today?” he said.

“Well,” she smiled, “you know how you come home from work and ask me what in the world I did all day?”

“Yeah,” he said slowly.

“Well, today I didn’t do it.”


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