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September 16, 2019

PONDERISMS

I. I used to eat a lot of natural foods, until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

2. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

3. Life is sexually transmitted.

4. Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

5. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7. Have you noticed that since everyone can shoot video these days, no one talks about seeing UFOs anymore?

8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10. In the ‘60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

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