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April 9, 2019

On One Condition

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God,  “Lord, I have a problem!”

“What is it, Eve?”

“Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious snake, but I’m just not happy.”

“Why is that, Eve?”

“Lord, I am lonely. And I’m sick to death of apples.”

“Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.”

“What’s a ‘man,’ Lord?”

“This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego, and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. He’ll also need your advice to think properly. All in all, he’ll give you a hard time.

“But he’ll also be bigger, faster and more muscular than you. He’ll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball around, hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack.”

“Sounds great, Lord!” says Eve, with a raised eyebrow. “What’s the catch?”

“Well .... you can have him on one condition: You'll have to let him believe that I made him first.”

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