Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

March 27, 2019

Things to Do in an Elevator

1. Stand really close to someone, and sniff them occasionally.

2. When the doors close, announce, “It's OK, don't panic, they open again!”

3. Swat at flies that don't exist.

4. Tell people that you can see their aura.

5. Call out, “Group hug!” and then enforce it.

6. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”

7. Crack open your briefcase or purse, peer inside and ask, “Got enough air in there?”

8. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

9. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.

10. Wear a puppet on your hand, and use it to talk to the other passengers.

11. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

12. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce, “This is MY personal space!”

Current Item rating: 3.8 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

March 26, 2019
You Know You're Getting Old When
You know you're getting old...

March 26, 2019
Getting Medicine
Did you hear...

March 25, 2019
Golf Realities
A good drive on the 18th...

March 25, 2019
The Joy of Aging
What can a man do while his wife...

March 22, 2019
Things to Do in an Elevator
When there's only one other person...

March 22, 2019
Last Resort
In the middle...

March 21, 2019
Golf Realities
Golf balls are like...

March 21, 2019
Book vs. Movie
Two mice live...

March 20, 2019
Financial Planning
A young man asked an old rich man...

March 20, 2019
Building Beds
I suggested building...

March 19, 2019
Times Are Tough
The economy is so bad...

March 19, 2019
Pay the Fine
A New Yorker was forced...

March 18, 2019
Lawyer Shopping
If you can’t find a lawyer...

March 18, 2019
Cowed
A man's car stalled on a...

March 15, 2019
Classified Ad
A man placed an ad...


See humor archive
Advertisements
 
DeFelsko Corporation

 
Modern Safety Techniques

 
Sidewinder/Persyst Enterprises, Inc.

 
SAFE Systems, Inc.

 
NLB Corporation

 
KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office

 
Fischer Technology Inc.

 
ABKaelin, LLC

 
HoldTight Solutions Inc.

 
Mitsubishi Gas Chemical America

 
 
 

Technology Publishing Co., 1501 Reedsdale Street, Suite 2008, Pittsburgh, PA 15233

TEL 1-412-431-8300  • FAX  1-412-431-5428  •  EMAIL webmaster@paintsquare.com


The Technology Publishing Network

PaintSquare the Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy Policy   |   Terms & Conditions   |   Support   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us