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February 20, 2019

Heaven & Hell

One day, a highly successful HR Director was hit by a bus and died. At the Pearly Gates, she was met by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in, though, we have a problem. You see, we've never had a Human Resources Director make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

“So, what we're going to do is give you one day in Hell and one day in Heaven; then you can choose where you want to spend eternity.”

Deflecting her assurances that she wanted to stay in Heaven, St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and sent it down-down-down to Hell.

The doors opened, and the woman stepped out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club, and before her were many friends—elegantly dressed fellow executives she had worked with, cheering for her. Up they ran, kissing her and talking over old times.

The group played a fine round of golf and dined on steak and lobster at the country club that evening. The Devil turned out to be a really nice guy, and she had a great time, telling jokes and dancing. Before she knew it, it was time to leave.

She took the elevator back up-up-up to the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he announced.

The executive then spent 24 hours lounging around on clouds, playing the harp and singing.

Finally, St. Peter came and got her.  “Now you must choose your eternity," he said.

The woman paused and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this--I mean, Heaven has been really great and all--but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator, and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

However, when the elevator doors opened, she found herself in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. Her friends, dressed in rags, were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up and, with an evil leer, put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman. "Yesterday, there was a golf course and a country club, and we ate lobster and danced and had a great time. Today, it’s just a wasteland and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil smiled: "Yesterday, we were recruiting you. Today, you're staff... ."

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