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January 11, 2019

Coming Clean

Dear Tide:
 
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.

Now that I am in my 50s, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.  My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another, and somehow I ended up with his blood on my blouse, too!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with Bleach Alternative and, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, they came out so well that the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative! Then, my attorney called and said I was no longer a suspect in my husband’s disappearance. What a relief!

Menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! Thank you again for having a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write to the Hefty bag people.

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