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December 17, 2018

Words of Wisdom

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but I never got around to it.

My friend has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, he takes something for it.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the Titanic.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

One of life's mysteries: How can a two-pound box of candy make a person gain five pounds?

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom; sometimes, age comes alone.

Life not only begins at 40; it begins to show.

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