Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

July 30, 2020

Things We Wouldn’t Know if it Wasn’t for the Movies

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when someone tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

If someone says, "I'll be right back," they won't.

Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter Password Now.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. And none of your friends have to knock when they come for a visit.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will automatically be able to mirror all the steps you come up with and hear the music in your head.

Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

Current Item rating: 3.6 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

July 29, 2020
Bumper Stickers
There are three kinds...

July 29, 2020
Dear Diary
Tonight, I thought my husband...

July 28, 2020
Apology
It has come to my attention...

July 28, 2020
News Headlines
Survivor of Siamese...

July 27, 2020
Bumper Stickers
Make it idiot-proof...

July 27, 2020
Killer Service
One Sunday morning...

July 24, 2020
3 Wise Men
The same question was posed...

July 24, 2020
It's All Relative
A poor man walking...

July 23, 2020
Chicken Legs
A man was driving...

July 23, 2020
News Headlines
Lansing Residents...

July 22, 2020
Bumper Stickers
It’s lonely at the top...

July 22, 2020
Let's Be Honest
A cabbie picks up...

July 21, 2020
Bumper Stickers
I get enough exercise...

July 21, 2020
Major Deterrent
As a pre-med student...

July 20, 2020
The Doctor Can't See You Now
A psychiatrist’s secretary...


See humor archive
Advertisements
 
KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office

 
Tarps manufacturing, Inc.

 
SAFE Systems, Inc.

 
DeFelsko Corporation

 
WEFTEC Show

 
Sauereisen, Inc.

 
 
 

Technology Publishing Co., 1501 Reedsdale Street, Suite 2008, Pittsburgh, PA 15233

TEL 1-412-431-8300  • FAX  1-412-431-5428  •  EMAIL webmaster@paintsquare.com


The Technology Publishing Network

PaintSquare the Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy Policy   |   Terms & Conditions   |   Support   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us