December 28, 2018
Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Stand really close to someone, and sniff them occasionally.
2. When the doors close, announce, “It's OK, don't panic, they open again!”
3. Swat at flies that don't exist.
4. Tell people that you can see their aura.
5. Call out, “Group hug!” and then enforce it.
6. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”
7. Crack open your briefcase or purse, peer inside and ask, “Got enough air in there?”
8. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
9. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.
10. Wear a puppet on your hand, and use it to talk to the other passengers.
11. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
12. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce, “This is MY personal space!”
Current Item rating: 3.0 out of 5
Humor Archive | Submit your own Item
Previous items from the past weeks
December 27, 2018
Silver Lining A reporter was interviewing a 104...
December 27, 2018
You Know You're Getting Old When You know you're getting old...
December 26, 2018
Humor for Lexophiles If you jump off a...
December 26, 2018
Golf Realities A good drive on the 18th...
December 25, 2018
All Bets Are Off A guy is reading the paper...
December 25, 2018
Things to Do in an Elevator When there's only one other person...
December 24, 2018
Trimming the Fat A manufacturing plant, feeling it was time...
December 24, 2018
Spell Check Morticians have to...
December 21, 2018
The Truth is Out There Did you hear...
December 21, 2018
Watch the Time Why did the...
December 20, 2018
Helping Hand What did the...
December 20, 2018
Times Are Tough The economy is so bad...
December 19, 2018
Leaky Roof Mr. Gable had...
December 19, 2018
Lawyer Shopping If you can’t find a lawyer...
December 18, 2018
Old Glory Days I was once...
See humor archive
|