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April 29, 2014

Words of Wisdom

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but I never got around to it.

My friend has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, he takes something for it.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark; professionals built the Titanic.

Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

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April 28, 2014
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See humor archive
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