Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

November 21, 2019

Chicago Weather Report

60 degrees: Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.

Chicagoans sunbathe.

50 degrees: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.

Chicagoans plant gardens.

40 degrees: Italian cars won’t start.

Chicagoans drive with the top down.

32 degrees: Distilled water freezes.

Lake Michigan gets thicker.

20 degrees: Californians shiver uncontrollably.

Chicagoans have the last cookout before it gets cold.

15 degrees: New York landlords finally turn up the heat.

Chicagoans throw on a sweatshirt.

0 degrees: Californians head for Mexico.

Chicagoans lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt.

20 below: People in Miami cease to exist.

Chicagoans get out their winter coats.

40 below: Hollywood disintegrates.

Chicago Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.

60 below: Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.

Chicago Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it gets cold enough.

80 below: Mount St. Helens freezes.

Chicagoans rent a movie.

100 below: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

Chicagoans get frustrated when they can’t thaw the keg.

297 below: Microbial life survives on dairy products.

Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 below: All atomic motion stops.

Chicagoans start saying, "Cold ‘nuff for ya??"

500 below: Hell freezes over.

The Chicago Cubs win the World Series.

Current Item rating: 2.0 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

November 20, 2019
All-Access Pass
A cocky state highway employee...

November 20, 2019
Outstanding In His Field
A man is relaxing...

November 19, 2019
Lights Out
A father sends his...

November 19, 2019
It's All Who You Know
A guy gets pulled over...

November 18, 2019
On Your Mark...
Not feeling well...

November 18, 2019
House Call
Two beggars are...

November 15, 2019
Night School
An elderly man is stopped...

November 15, 2019
High Medical Costs
A woman brought her very limp...

November 14, 2019
Driving the Point Home
A billboard so ironic...

November 14, 2019
To a Long Life
Lady, this vacuum cleaner...

November 13, 2019
Government Spending
During a terrible storm...

November 13, 2019
Funny Face
Two Irishmen flew...

November 12, 2019
Justice
Called to jury duty...

November 12, 2019
Interview Questions
A store that sells new...

November 11, 2019
Time's Up
An old Italian man is...


See humor archive
Advertisements
 
Modern Safety Techniques

 
Sidewinder/Persyst Enterprises, Inc.

 
Sauereisen, Inc.

 
DeFelsko Corporation

 
Tarps manufacturing, Inc.

 
NLB Corporation

 
SAFE Systems, Inc.

 
HoldTight Solutions Inc.

 
Fischer Technology Inc.

 
KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office

 
 
 

Technology Publishing Co., 1501 Reedsdale Street, Suite 2008, Pittsburgh, PA 15233

TEL 1-412-431-8300  • FAX  1-412-431-5428  •  EMAIL webmaster@paintsquare.com


The Technology Publishing Network

PaintSquare the Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy Policy   |   Terms & Conditions   |   Support   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us