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June 11, 2010

Proofreading is a Dying Art

"Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter" 
 This one was caught in the SGV Tribune. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.   
 
"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says" 
 No crap, really? Ya think? 

"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"  
        Now that's taking things a bit far! 

"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"  
        What a guy!   

"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"  
  Good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! 

"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"  
 See if that works any better than a fair trial! 

"War Dims Hope for Peace"  
  I can see where it might have that effect! 

"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"      Ya think?! 

"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"  
       Who would have thought! 

"Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"   
 They may be on to something! 

"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"  
       You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? 

"Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge"  
      He probably IS the battery charge! 

"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"  
 Weren't they fat enough?! 

"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"    That's what he gets for eating those beans! 

"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"  
        Do they taste like chicken?
 
"Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half"  
        Chainsaw Massacre all over again!  That'll teach 'em to be dropouts! 

"Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors"  
        Boy, are they tall! 

And the winner is....  
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
 Did I read that right?

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Previous items from the past weeks

June 10, 2010
The Efficiency Expert
An efficiency expert concluded...

June 9, 2010
Say What?!
A very shy guy goes into a bar and...

June 8, 2010
The Oldest Profession in the World
A physician, a civil engineer, and a coatings consultant were arguing about...

June 7, 2010
What's The Difference?
A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign...

June 4, 2010
Psychiatry Study
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry...

June 3, 2010
How Do You Think I Got So Rich?
A businessman walked into a New York City bank...

June 2, 2010
Have a nice day!
You think you have it bad? Try putting yourself in my shoes...

June 1, 2010
1+1=what?
A linguistics professor was lecturing...

May 28, 2010
Going Against the Grain
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway...

May 27, 2010
Medical Emergency
A man rushed into the doctor's office...

May 26, 2010
Is There a Problem, Officer?
A driver is pulled over by a policeman...

May 25, 2010
Job Requirements
Employer: “In this job we need...

May 24, 2010
Careful What You Ask For
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary...

May 21, 2010
The New Math
It’s August in a small village near the black sea...

May 20, 2010
Never Irritate a Woman who can Operate a Backhoe
Never irritate a woman...


See humor archive
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