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October 15, 2012

Squawk Box

These police comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country.

“Warning! You want a warning? OK, I’m warning you not to do that again, or I’ll give you another ticket.”

“The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

“Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey poo. “

“Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

“In God we trust; all others, we run through NCIC.”

“How big were those ‘just two beers’ you say you had?”

“No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

“I’m glad to hear that Chief Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

“You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

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