PaintSquare.com


The First Word in Protective & Marine Coatings

A Product of Technology Publishing / PaintSquare
JPCL | PaintSquare News | Durability + Design | Paint BidTracker

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

October 2, 2012

Compute This

Not long ago, Bill Gates took a swipe at the auto industry, scoffing: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles per gallon.”

GM shot back: “Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"

Not only that, Microsoft’s many critics added, but....

Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail, and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this, too.

You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

Apple would then make a car that was solar powered, reliable, five times faster, and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only 5 percent of the roads.

Mac car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.

The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

Current Item rating: 3.7 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

October 1, 2012
Planning Ahead
The wife and I were...

September 28, 2012
The Best Defense
A defendant in a major...

September 27, 2012
Old Folks, New Technology
I was visiting my daughter...

September 26, 2012
The Bribe
At the height of a political...

September 25, 2012
Double Positive
A linguistics professor...

September 24, 2012
Bright Guy
A guy and his gal...

September 21, 2012
Temper, Temper
Doctor, you must help me...

September 20, 2012
Tight Budget
Hoping to surprise her husband...

September 19, 2012
Grave Spitting
“Well,” snarls the tough...

September 18, 2012
The Wife Says
Yes...

September 17, 2012
Genius Child
Peggy Sue brags to...

September 14, 2012
T-G-I-F
A businessman gets on...

September 13, 2012
Signs
On a desk...

September 12, 2012
Let's Play House
A man and a woman...

September 11, 2012
The Wife Says
I want new...


See humor archive

DeFelsko Corporation
PosiTector Dew Point Meter

Measures and records
environmental conditions
during surface prep and
painting. 4 Models
Available – Standard
or Advanced features,
Built-in or Separate probe.


Greener Blast Technologies
Reinventing the Blasting Industry

Greener Blast Technology, Inc. manufactures the most effective slurry blasting system available on the market to date.


CESCO
AQUA MISER

• Ultra high pressure water blaster • 40,000 PSI stripping and cleaning power CESCO is the leader in environmentally sound cleaning and stripping technologies. See our YouTube videos
Contact us: 888-772-3726
Aquamiser.com
BlastandPaint.com


Clemco Industries Corp.
Powerful Protection in a Small Package

Mounts inside blast helmet, alerts operator to dangerous breathing-air condition by audible, visual, and vibratory alarms. Easily calibrated, battery operated.


Novatek Corporation
Dustless Coatings Removal

Strip it, clean it, and profile it,
all dust free! High production
rates and Blast like finishes.
Comply with new lead
standards.


HoldTight Solutions Inc.
NO FLASH RUST -
NO CONTAMINANTS

Our HoldTight®102 salt remover & flash rush inhibitor prevents flash rust by removing surface contaminants.
Contact us for your nearest distributor. (800) 319.8802 sales@holdtight.com


DeHumidification Technologies
HUMIDITY PROBLEMS?

DH Tech has the most innovative and reliable equipment available to
control humidity efficiently
and effectively.
IT'S UNDER CONTROL!

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker JPCL Europe

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2014, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com