PaintSquare.com


The First Word in Protective & Marine Coatings

A Product of Technology Publishing / PaintSquare
JPCL | PaintSquare News | Durability + Design | Paint BidTracker

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

October 2, 2012

Compute This

Not long ago, Bill Gates took a swipe at the auto industry, scoffing: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles per gallon.”

GM shot back: “Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"

Not only that, Microsoft’s many critics added, but....

Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail, and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this, too.

You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

Apple would then make a car that was solar powered, reliable, five times faster, and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only 5 percent of the roads.

Mac car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.

The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

Current Item rating: 3.7 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

October 1, 2012
Planning Ahead
The wife and I were...

September 28, 2012
The Best Defense
A defendant in a major...

September 27, 2012
Old Folks, New Technology
I was visiting my daughter...

September 26, 2012
The Bribe
At the height of a political...

September 25, 2012
Double Positive
A linguistics professor...

September 24, 2012
Bright Guy
A guy and his gal...

September 21, 2012
Temper, Temper
Doctor, you must help me...

September 20, 2012
Tight Budget
Hoping to surprise her husband...

September 19, 2012
Grave Spitting
“Well,” snarls the tough...

September 18, 2012
The Wife Says
Yes...

September 17, 2012
Genius Child
Peggy Sue brags to...

September 14, 2012
T-G-I-F
A businessman gets on...

September 13, 2012
Signs
On a desk...

September 12, 2012
Let's Play House
A man and a woman...

September 11, 2012
The Wife Says
I want new...


See humor archive

CESCO
PRESSURE WASHERS

• 10,000 PSI
• Electric or diesel models
• Buy or rent from CESCO
• Lease Financing Available
CESCO is your One Stop
Corrosion
Shop
Contact us: 888-772-3726
BlastandPaint.com


Graco Inc.
Eco-friendly surface prep blasting equipment

EcoQuip blast equipment adds a fine water mist during the spraying process for less dust. Less media consumption. Less cleanup. Easy to use. Call 877.326.7847


Midsun Specialty Products
Stopaq Corrosion Protection Services by MSP

Stopaq coatings are impenetrable to water, oxygen and bacteria. Save labor costs with simple surface prep and a 30 year guarantee.
Visit: midsunsp.com/stopaq or Call 888-866-8273


ABKaelin, LLC
Quality is our bottom line

Services include:
• Environmental, Health &
  Safety
• Contractor QP Certification
• Quality Assurance Programs
  and Auditing
• SSPC C3/C5 and other
  Training
• Coatings
• Design/Construction
See our website at abkaelin.com or contact us today abkaelin@comcast.com


Waterjet Technology Association (WJTA)
HP Waterjets, Related Products for Paint/Coating Removal, Surface Prep

www.wjta.org
. Networking
. Education
. Systems, Equipment
. Safety, Business Tips
314-241-1445


U.S. Zinc

The proven corrosion protection properties of our zinc dust prolong the life of marine coatings. U.S. Zinc – Helping the world work™


Sherwin-Williams
Sherwin Williams

• Extends Service Life
• Single Coat Application
• Cure to Service in 24 Hours

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker JPCL Europe

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2014, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com