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September 18, 2012

The Wife Says

The wife says: Yes.
The wife means: No.

The wife says: No.
The wife means: No.

The wife says: Maybe.
The wife means: No.

The wife says: I’m sorry.
The wife means: You’ll be sorry.

The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife means: You’d better get used to it.

The wife says: All we’re going to buy is a soap dish.
The wife means: I’m coming back with enough to fill this place.

The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him.

The wife says: I’m not yelling!
The wife means: Yes, I am! I think this is important!

In answer to the question “What’s wrong?”
The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.

The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.

The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It’s just that you’re an idiot.

The wife says: I don’t want to talk about it.
The wife means: I’m still building up steam.

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