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September 5, 2012

The Wife Says

The wife says: You want…
The wife means: You want…

The wife says: We need…
The wife means: I want…

The wife says: It’s your decision.
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious.

The wife says: Do what you want.
The wife means: You’ll pay for this later.

The wife says: We need to talk.
The wife means: I need to complain.

The wife says: Sure, go ahead.
The wife means: I don’t want you to.

The wife says: I’m not upset.
The wife means: Of course I’m upset, you moron.

The wife says: You’re so manly.
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot.

The wife says: Be romantic; turn out the lights.
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.

The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient.
The wife means: I want a new house.

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Previous items from the past weeks

September 4, 2012
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See humor archive
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