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July 10, 2012

As I Mature

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. 

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. 

I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away.

I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

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Previous items from the past weeks

July 9, 2012
Why Dogs are Better than Women
Dogs don’t mind if you give...

July 6 - June 6, 2012
You Know You Work in Corporate America if
The word “opportunity” makes...

July 5, 2012
Help
I was walking down...

July 3, 2012
Why Dogs are Better than Women
Dogs don’t cry...

July 2, 2012
You Know You Work in Corporate America if
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June 29, 2012
The Blind Man
Sweltering in church...

June 28, 2012
Best Things to Say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
They told me at the blood...

June 27, 2012
Inaccuracy
After a long holiday season...

June 26, 2012
Batter Up!
Two old men had been...

June 25, 2012
Unreasonable Expectations
A couple walking...

June 22, 2012
Three's a Charm
Three crazy people...

June 21, 2012
Ashes to Ashes
A guy goes to a girl’s...

June 20, 2012
Martin
Martin was interviewing...

June 19, 2012
Two Wrongs
A passenger at the airline...

June 18, 2012
Perception is Everything
Pete was telling a friend...


See humor archive

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