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June 17, 2011

12 (More) Laws of Golf

1: If it isn't broke, try changing your grip.

2: It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you're lying 8.

3: Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

4: Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

5: It's not a gimme if you're still four feet away.

6: The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

7: You can hit a two-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a two-inch branch 90% of the time.

8: Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make a double or triple bogey to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

9: If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to use it to lay up just short of a water hazard.

10: There are two things you can learn by stopping your back swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have and which one is wearing the glove.

11: A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

12: Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

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