PaintSquare.com


The First Word in Protective & Marine Coatings

A Product of Technology Publishing / PaintSquare
JPCL | PaintSquare News | Durability + Design | Paint BidTracker

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

June 16, 2011

12 Laws of Golf

1: No matter how bad your last shot was, maintain Inner Peace by knowing that a worse one is yet to come. This powerful law does not expire at the 18th hole but extends over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.

2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

3: New golf balls are water-magnetic; and the more expensive the ball, the greater its attraction. Some expensive clubs are believed to be made with this unusual natural alloy.

4: Golf balls never bounce off trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

5: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.

6: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, any group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent.

7: All 3-woods are possessed by demons. Your mother-in-law does not come close.

8: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water. (See Law 3.)

9: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.

10: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

11: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until sunset.

12: Since bad shots come in groups of three, your fourth consecutive bad shot is really the beginning of the next group of three.

Current Item rating: 4.2 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

June 15, 2011
Coming Clean
Dear Tide...

June 14, 2011
Hospital Regulations
Hospital regulations require...

June 13, 2011
Church Ladies With Typewriters
Thank God for church ladies...

June 10, 2011
The Metric System
The metric system...

June 9, 2011
Making Change
An incompetent counterfeiter...

June 8, 2011
A Woman’s Place
Years before the Afghan conflict...

June 7, 2011
Goodbye, Mother
A young man is walking...

June 6, 2011
Is there a problem?
A policeman pulls over a guy...

June 3, 2011
Perks of Being a Senior Citizen
Kidnappers are not...

June 2, 2011
Wise Choice
An older man, not in the best...

June 1, 2011
Settling
When you are young...

May 31, 2011
Silver Lining
A reporter was interviewing a 104...

May 30, 2011
Humor for Lexophiles
If you jump off a...

May 27, 2011
All Bets Are Off
A guy is reading the paper...

May 26, 2011
Trimming the Fat
A manufacturing plant, feeling it was time...


See humor archive

Polyval Coatings
POLYFLEX brand Polyurea

high chemical resistant membranes are used extensively to protect our environment in secondary containment applications.


KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office
KTA-Tator
Coatings Inspection

Any structure, any height, any place - A qualified coatings inspector is always available. Call 800-245-6379.


SAFE Systems, Inc.
Portable Dust Collectors for Tough Environments

Trailer and skid-mounted models in numerous sizes, powered by electric and/or diesel. Sloped roofs, multiple dust inlets, high static, dampered fans. Lockable power & drive compartments.


Dampney Co., Inc.
Metal Patching Compound

One Part / Ready to Use / High Temperature. Fill surface imperfections, voids, rough welds prior to painting and powder coating.


Thermion Inc
Buy Back Program

We are offering $5,000
credit for your old Model
This drive system is
being discontinued by
the manufacturer.
More information at
thermioninc.com
877.884.3428


Hempel (USA) Inc.
HEMPEL PROTECTIVE COATINGS

Efficient systems and high quality products to reduce your maintenance costs. Visit Hempel Protective for more information.


Van Air Systems
Need a Dry-O-Lite Refill?

Order Dry-O-Lite desiccant from Van Air Systems.
The dependable, and cost-effective solution for dry compressed air.

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker JPCL Europe

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2014, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com