PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

April 4, 2011

Church Ladies with Typewriters

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These are from actual church bulletins or announcements:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Current Item rating: 4.7 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

April 1, 2011
Truth or Consequences
A wife asked her husband...

March 31, 2011
Wedding Bell$
A newly married man...

March 30, 2011
Moral for Today
One day, a farmer's donkey...

March 29, 2011
Dining Dilemma
Wife: “Do you want...

March 28, 2011
Marriage Humor
Wife: “What are you...

March 25, 2011
Pest Control
A woman was having a passionate...

March 24, 2011
Brothel Trip
An elderly man goes into a...

March 23, 2011
Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional...

March 22, 2011
Donation
Father O'Malley answers the phone...

March 21, 2011
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish...

March 18, 2011
Duty Calls
Smith goes to see his supervisor...

March 17, 2011
Cutting Costs
HR Consultant: "Here's my final...

March 16, 2011
A Good Book
Two magicians...

March 15, 2011
Proud Mama
The first woman was elected...

March 14, 2011
No Crayons
The kindergarten class had...


See humor archive

Polyval Coatings
Polyflex® Polyurea Linings

Polyflex™ new Polyurea Geotextile Membrane System has been specifically engineered to protect the environment in containment applications.
www.polyflexlinings.com


DRYCO
Control the Tank with DRYCO

Temporary climate control equipment. Dehumidifiers,
Heaters, A/C, Power, More…
Toll Free: 866-379-2600


KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office
KTA Analyzes
Coating Failures

• Field Diagnosis
• Lab Diagnosis
• Determination of Cause
• Recommendations
www.kta.com
800-245-6379


Axxiom Manufacturing
Schmidt Introduces
the New miniBRS

Reduced in size, it is incredibly easy to maneuver and operate! The perfect alternative to larger blast & recovery units when project space is limited.
Call 1-800-231-2085


Trelawny Surface Preparation Technology
Surface Preparation Equipment

Manufacturer of needle scalers, grinders, scarifiers and scabblers. Pneumatic tools for Marine and Construction. US distributor CS Unitec: 800-700-5919


Armakleen Company, The
ARMEX when nondestructive cleaning is critical

When substrates cannot be damaged ARMEX is the only choice for blast media. ARMEX is a USDA approved A-1 cleaner available in eleven formulations.


CS Unitec
Work Cleaner and Safer

CS Unitec’s Vibro-Lo low-vibration scalers offer high performance for greater productivity & improved operator comfort. Optional dust shroud. info@csunitec.com


WINOA Group
W Abrasives : Maintenance Pack

The blasting company able to reduce your maintenance costs up to 30% by fine-tuning consumption, and increasing productivity. Visit us during the GIFA (Hall15 - D14).


Safway Services
One Source. Every Solution.

The Safway Group is your source for multiservices. Painting, coating, insulation and more – all from the most trusted name in the industry.

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2015, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com