PaintSquare.com


The First Word in Protective & Marine Coatings

A Product of Technology Publishing / PaintSquare
JPCL | PaintSquare News | Durability + Design | Paint BidTracker

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

April 4, 2011

Church Ladies with Typewriters

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These are from actual church bulletins or announcements:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Current Item rating: 4.7 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

April 1, 2011
Truth or Consequences
A wife asked her husband...

March 31, 2011
Wedding Bell$
A newly married man...

March 30, 2011
Moral for Today
One day, a farmer's donkey...

March 29, 2011
Dining Dilemma
Wife: “Do you want...

March 28, 2011
Marriage Humor
Wife: “What are you...

March 25, 2011
Pest Control
A woman was having a passionate...

March 24, 2011
Brothel Trip
An elderly man goes into a...

March 23, 2011
Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional...

March 22, 2011
Donation
Father O'Malley answers the phone...

March 21, 2011
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish...

March 18, 2011
Duty Calls
Smith goes to see his supervisor...

March 17, 2011
Cutting Costs
HR Consultant: "Here's my final...

March 16, 2011
A Good Book
Two magicians...

March 15, 2011
Proud Mama
The first woman was elected...

March 14, 2011
No Crayons
The kindergarten class had...


See humor archive

Spider, a Division of SafeWorks, LLC
Spider’s Competent Person Training

What will Spider’s CPT class do for you?
• OSHA compliance
• Increased productivity
• Improved safety
   awareness
• Fewer accident-related
   costs
Call 877-774-3370 or click for classes near you.


Waterjet Technology Association (WJTA)
HP Waterjets, Related Products for Paint/Coating Removal, Surface Prep

www.wjta.org
. Networking
. Education
. Systems, Equipment
. Safety, Business Tips
314-241-1445


Graco Inc.
Eco-friendly surface prep blasting equipment

EcoQuip blast equipment adds a fine water mist during the spraying process for less dust. Less media consumption. Less cleanup. Easy to use. Call 877.326.7847


Modern Safety Techniques
Modern Safety Techniques

With our unique LTCat, we can help to provide clean, safe breathing air to your workers. Take a look at our Breathing Air Systems, we supply at least twice as much charcoal as our competitors! Modern


Denso North America Inc.
Denso Tank Base
Protection System

An easily applied prevention system, utilizing Denso tapes and coatings around the tank base, that helps prevent corrosion from external elements.
Call 1-281-821-3355 or Visit www.densona.com


Hempel (USA) Inc.
HEMPEL PROTECTIVE COATINGS

Efficient systems and high quality products to reduce your maintenance costs. Visit Hempel Protective for more information.


SSPC: The Society for Protective Coatings
http://www.sspc.org/

Join SSPC and Enhance
Your Career !

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker JPCL Europe

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2014, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com