PaintSquare.com
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on LinkedIn Like us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Visit the TPC Store
Search the site

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

April 4, 2011

Church Ladies with Typewriters

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These are from actual church bulletins or announcements:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Current Item rating: 4.7 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

April 1, 2011
Truth or Consequences
A wife asked her husband...

March 31, 2011
Wedding Bell$
A newly married man...

March 30, 2011
Moral for Today
One day, a farmer's donkey...

March 29, 2011
Dining Dilemma
Wife: “Do you want...

March 28, 2011
Marriage Humor
Wife: “What are you...

March 25, 2011
Pest Control
A woman was having a passionate...

March 24, 2011
Brothel Trip
An elderly man goes into a...

March 23, 2011
Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional...

March 22, 2011
Donation
Father O'Malley answers the phone...

March 21, 2011
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish...

March 18, 2011
Duty Calls
Smith goes to see his supervisor...

March 17, 2011
Cutting Costs
HR Consultant: "Here's my final...

March 16, 2011
A Good Book
Two magicians...

March 15, 2011
Proud Mama
The first woman was elected...

March 14, 2011
No Crayons
The kindergarten class had...


See humor archive
Advertisements
 
Aggreko
 
Portable Heating Rentals
 
Rental heaters are available for your painting/coating project. Aggreko offers stand alone or in-line heaters, ready to rent. 24/7 service, nationwide.
844-433-9802
 

 
SEMicro Division, M.E. Taylor Engineering, Inc.
 
Coatings Adhesion Testers
 
The PATTI® accurately measures the bond strength between coating & substrate. Outfitted properly, the surface can be rough, porous, or curved & >10K psi strong!
 

 
RBW Enterprises, Inc.
 
Robotic Blasting and Painting
 
When using the FasterBlaster and FasterPainter, blasting and painting can be conducted simultaneously. View the video for a full explanation of the operation.
 

 
Cortec Corp
 
High Performance Anti-Corrosion Coatings
 
A fast and economical way to protect metal surfaces from corrosion at low DFT. DTM, water-based, low VOC options.
 

 
Jotun Paints Inc.
 
Jotachar JF750 - The Time Saving Solution
 
The only mesh free solution for jet fire scenarios. Jotachar saves installation time and material costs - the next generation of epoxy passive fire protection.
 

 
KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office
 
KTA-Tator
Coatings Inspection
 
Any structure, any height, any place - A qualified coatings inspector is always available. Call 1-800-245-6379.
 

 
DeFelsko Corporation
 
PosiTector SHD Shore Hardness Durometer
 
PosiTector SHD measures the hardness of non-metallic materials. Features a measurement timer, auto ignore mode and internal memory. Shore A or D available.
 

 
Advanced Recycling Systems
 
ADVANCED RECYCLING SYSTEMS (ARS)
 
Recycling Machines, Dust Collectors, Rapid Deployment units are time-tested and approved for the rugged industrial environment. Contact ARS today!
(330)536-8210
 

 
Termarust Technologies
 
Termarust (HR CSA) Chemically Stops
Active Corrosion
 
Arch truss treated with Termarust's (HR CSA) in 2003. This steel arch bridge is rust free on all surfaces including the crevice corroded joints and connections.
 

 
PPG Protective and Marine Coatings Group
 
We Protect and Beautify the World
 
PPG is widely recognized as a world leader in protective and marine coatings, developing innovative, cutting-edge products and services.
 

 
 
 

Technology Publishing Co., 2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951

TEL 1-412-431-8300  • FAX  1-412-431-5428  •  EMAIL webmaster@paintsquare.com


The Technology Publishing Network

Durability + Design PaintSquare the Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us