| Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise


Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

April 4, 2011

Church Ladies with Typewriters

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These are from actual church bulletins or announcements:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Current Item rating: 4.7 out of 5

Rate this Item:

2 3 4 HI-larious
Your Rating:


Humor Archive | Submit your own Item

Previous items from the past weeks

April 1, 2011
Truth or Consequences
A wife asked her husband...

March 31, 2011
Wedding Bell$
A newly married man...

March 30, 2011
Moral for Today
One day, a farmer's donkey...

March 29, 2011
Dining Dilemma
Wife: “Do you want...

March 28, 2011
Marriage Humor
Wife: “What are you...

March 25, 2011
Pest Control
A woman was having a passionate...

March 24, 2011
Brothel Trip
An elderly man goes into a...

March 23, 2011
An elderly man walks into a confessional...

March 22, 2011
Father O'Malley answers the phone...

March 21, 2011
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish...

March 18, 2011
Duty Calls
Smith goes to see his supervisor...

March 17, 2011
Cutting Costs
HR Consultant: "Here's my final...

March 16, 2011
A Good Book
Two magicians...

March 15, 2011
Proud Mama
The first woman was elected...

March 14, 2011
No Crayons
The kindergarten class had...

See humor archive

SEMicro Division, M.E. Taylor Engineering, Inc.
Coatings Adhesion Testers

The PATTI® accurately measures the bond strength between coating & substrate. Outfitted properly, the surface can be rough, porous, or curved & >10K psi strong!

Safway Services
Your Access Advantage. QUIKDECK®

Provides safe, factory-floor-like working conditions. Can be engineered to fit almost any shape, structure or size. Modular platform easily assembled from just a few basic components. Excellent containment. Applications include vessels, offshore rigs and bridges.

PSS Industrial Group
AirTech - World Leader in Custom Spray Solutions

AirTech is the solution
for any custom spray application. We have painting & finishing equipment, blast equipment, painting accessories, booth filter and many more items in inventory.

NACE International, The Corrosion Society
Toss Out Your Paper-Based Training!

Discover a new, interactive way of learning with the first module, Safety Codes, Practices, and Standards, of NACE’s Industrial Coating Application eCourse.

Desco Mfg. Co., Inc.

Steel Fabrication

• Shipyards
• Plate Fabrication
• Structural Steel
• Maintenance

DESCO Mfg.Co., Inc.

Detail Masters
Overspray Removal

We offer professional, turnkey service and unparalleled quality!
Our process can save hundreds— even thousands of dollars. It's fast, environmentally safe and 100% guaranteed.

PreTox Products - NexTec, Inc.
GOT LEAD? Specify Pretox System products

The ONLY Lead Stabilizer Compatible with All Paint Removal Methods. Works with all Blast Media: Grits | Recyclable Abrasives | CO2 | Water | Power Tools | Etc. Call Dave Steffen at 800.338.8296.

ABKaelin, LLC
ABkaelin, LLC

MONITORING-Environmental and worker monitoring CONSULTING & INSPECTION – Coatings, EHS, and compliance.

Blastox/The TDJ Group, Inc.
Blastox® - One Step Lead Abatement

Sandblast additive delivered to jobsite pre-blended to eliminate hazardous abrasive wastes. Why mix, meter or apply at the job-site? Blast with ease and
Let your painters paint!

Wasser High-Tech Coatings Inc.
Polyflex® Polyurea Linings

Polyflex ™ new Polyurea Geotextile Membrane System has been specifically engineered to protect the environment in containment applications.

Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us

© Copyright 2000-2016, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail