PaintSquare.com


The First Word in Protective & Marine Coatings

A Product of Technology Publishing / PaintSquare
JPCL | PaintSquare News | Durability + Design | Paint BidTracker

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

April 4, 2011

Church Ladies with Typewriters

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These are from actual church bulletins or announcements:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Current Item rating: 4.7 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

April 1, 2011
Truth or Consequences
A wife asked her husband...

March 31, 2011
Wedding Bell$
A newly married man...

March 30, 2011
Moral for Today
One day, a farmer's donkey...

March 29, 2011
Dining Dilemma
Wife: “Do you want...

March 28, 2011
Marriage Humor
Wife: “What are you...

March 25, 2011
Pest Control
A woman was having a passionate...

March 24, 2011
Brothel Trip
An elderly man goes into a...

March 23, 2011
Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional...

March 22, 2011
Donation
Father O'Malley answers the phone...

March 21, 2011
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish...

March 18, 2011
Duty Calls
Smith goes to see his supervisor...

March 17, 2011
Cutting Costs
HR Consultant: "Here's my final...

March 16, 2011
A Good Book
Two magicians...

March 15, 2011
Proud Mama
The first woman was elected...

March 14, 2011
No Crayons
The kindergarten class had...


See humor archive

Denso North America Inc.
Denso Tank Base
Protection System

An easily applied prevention system, utilizing Denso tapes and coatings around the tank base, that helps prevent corrosion from external elements.
Call 1-281-821-3355 or Visit www.densona.com


KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office
KTA-Tator
Coatings Inspection

Any structure, any height, any place - A qualified coatings inspector is always available. Call 800-245-6379.


PaintSquare
SSPC 2014 Product Demos

Watch product demos by SSPC 2014 exhibitors. Check them out now!


CESCO
USED EQUIPMENT SPECIALS

Jet Edge water blast cabinet 1995 Model 36-100, excellent condition
Sponge Jet 240L feed unit with a recycler unit
Hotsy Trailblazer
Schmidt pot, 6 ton with 4 outlets, TVII valves, 12V line with controls, Halo safety loading feature, 4 factory welded post for jumbo sack rack
Contact us: 888-772-3726
BlastandPaint.com


NLB Corporation
Water Jets in Action

Video demo shows how
easily Vortex™ removes
coatings and more. Lawn-
mower-style unit strips
floors, ship decks, etc.
faster than hand lances,
while containing debris.


BASF
New resins from BASF will have metals loving water:

Excellent corrosion resistance, low VOC, high gloss, thin films basf.us/industrialcoatings
polyorders@basf.com
800-231-7868


ABKaelin, LLC
Quality is our bottom line

Services include:
• Environmental, Health &
  Safety
• Contractor QP Certification
• Quality Assurance Programs
  and Auditing
• SSPC C3/C5 and other
  Training
• Coatings
• Design/Construction
See our website at abkaelin.com or contact us today abkaelin@comcast.com

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker JPCL Europe

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2014, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com