PaintSquare.com
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on LinkedIn Like us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Visit the TPC Store
Search the site

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

October 29, 2010

Election Time

Walking down the street one day, a high-ranking politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "What we do with high officials like yourself is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, that won’t be necessary. I want to be in Heaven," says the politician.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts the politician to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him; everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

Before he realizes it, it’s time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven, where St. Peter is waiting for him.

For the next 24 hours, the politician joins a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.

"Well, then,” St. Peter says, “you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The politician answers, "Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful and all, but Hell was fantastic!  I choose to go there."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he’s in the middle of a blazing, barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, wallowing in the flaming ruins.

"I don't understand," the politician stammers to the Devil. “Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. This place promised to be wonderful, and now all that’s here is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday, we were campaigning. Today, you voted for us!"

Current Item rating: 4.8 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

October 28, 2010
The Perfect Marriage
At a party, a couple...

October 27, 2010
Afraid of the Dark
A little boy was deathly...

October 26, 2010
Bumper Stickers
Those who live by the sword...

October 25, 2010
Truths For Mature Adults
I think part of a best friend's job...

October 22, 2010
Friendship Between The Sexes
A woman didn't come home...

October 21, 2010
Over Easy
A guest in an upscale hotel...

October 20, 2010
Women & Cats
I've never understood...

October 19, 2010
UK Classified Ads
Actual classified ads from a British newspaper...

October 18, 2010
Doctor's Orders
Mrs. Smith’s elderly husband...

October 15, 2010
God is Watching
The children were...

October 14, 2010
Things I learned from TV:
All crimes are...

October 13, 2010
Because...
A police officer pulls over...

October 12, 2010
A Hard Day's Work
God: “Whew! I just created a...

October 11, 2010
Prison Hospital
Look here, doctor!...

October 8, 2010
Careful What You Wish For
Two happily married 60-year-olds...


See humor archive
Advertisements
 
Advanced Recycling Systems
 
ADVANCED RECYCLING SYSTEMS (ARS)
 
Recycling Machines, Dust Collectors, Rapid Deployment units are time-tested and approved for the rugged industrial environment. Contact ARS today!
(330)536-8210
 

 
Manus Abrasive Systems, Inc./Mod-U-Blast Mfg.
 
Dry-Pro Air Dryers & Aftercooler Skids
 
Feature a compact design, small footprint and available in 6 models ranging from 250 CFM up to 1600 CFM. (2500 CFM H.D. models also available)
 

 
Modern Safety Techniques
 
Modern Safety Techniques
 
With our unique LTCat, we can help to provide clean, safe breathing air to your workers. Take a look at our Breathing Air Systems, we supply at least twice as much charcoal as our competitors! Modern
 

 
Carboline Company
 
Fireproofing Solutions
 
Pyroclad® X1 Thermo-Lag® Pyrocrete® – protecting against hydrocarbon and jet fires, explosions, and cryogenic spills.
 

 
KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office
 
KTA-TATOR LABORATORY SERVICES
 
• Coating failure analysis
• Independent
  comparative testing
• Accelerated
  weathering testing
• Toxic metals testing
• A2LA Accredited
Contact: Cindy O'Malley,
at 412-788-1300 x180
 

 
Tarps manufacturing, Inc.
 
QUALITY MADE IN AMERICA —Available near you!
 
CLICK to get a behind-the-scenes look at how Tarps Manufacturing makes the highest-quality tarps right here in the USA — available nationwide.
 

 
Aggreko
 
Climate Control Rental Solutions
 
Aggreko offers rental solutions for your painting/coating project. Dehumidifiers, heating, power and 24/7 service, nationwide.
844-433-9802
 

 
W Abrasives
 
Optimize your blasting process and operations!
 
Blasting is a complex process that goes above and beyond the simple question of the shot used, no matter how innovative and efficient it is. W Abrasives is there to help.
 

 
Atlantic Design, Inc.
 
GOING BEYOND INDUSTRY STANDARDS
 
The ADI HD40 Dust Collector is a smaller, more economical way to meet/ exceed Industry standards. Watch the video for details on our website. 866.Call.ADI
 

 
SAFE Systems, Inc.
 
Enduroguard -
The Tough Cable
for a Tough Industry.
 
Reduce maintenance costs and down time, increase job site safety with Enduroguard Cable. Available exclusively from SAFE Systems. UL listed, flexible, abrasion resistant and cut resistant.
 

 
 
 

Technology Publishing Co., 2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951

TEL 1-412-431-8300  • FAX  1-412-431-5428  •  EMAIL webmaster@paintsquare.com


The Technology Publishing Network

Durability + Design PaintSquare the Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us