PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

October 29, 2010

Election Time

Walking down the street one day, a high-ranking politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "What we do with high officials like yourself is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, that won’t be necessary. I want to be in Heaven," says the politician.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts the politician to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him; everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

Before he realizes it, it’s time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven, where St. Peter is waiting for him.

For the next 24 hours, the politician joins a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.

"Well, then,” St. Peter says, “you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The politician answers, "Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful and all, but Hell was fantastic!  I choose to go there."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he’s in the middle of a blazing, barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, wallowing in the flaming ruins.

"I don't understand," the politician stammers to the Devil. “Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. This place promised to be wonderful, and now all that’s here is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday, we were campaigning. Today, you voted for us!"

Current Item rating: 4.8 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

October 28, 2010
The Perfect Marriage
At a party, a couple...

October 27, 2010
Afraid of the Dark
A little boy was deathly...

October 26, 2010
Bumper Stickers
Those who live by the sword...

October 25, 2010
Truths For Mature Adults
I think part of a best friend's job...

October 22, 2010
Friendship Between The Sexes
A woman didn't come home...

October 21, 2010
Over Easy
A guest in an upscale hotel...

October 20, 2010
Women & Cats
I've never understood...

October 19, 2010
UK Classified Ads
Actual classified ads from a British newspaper...

October 18, 2010
Doctor's Orders
Mrs. Smith’s elderly husband...

October 15, 2010
God is Watching
The children were...

October 14, 2010
Things I learned from TV:
All crimes are...

October 13, 2010
Because...
A police officer pulls over...

October 12, 2010
A Hard Day's Work
God: “Whew! I just created a...

October 11, 2010
Prison Hospital
Look here, doctor!...

October 8, 2010
Careful What You Wish For
Two happily married 60-year-olds...


See humor archive

N.T. Ruddock Co.

Our Abrasives Hold Up Under Pressure

N. T. Ruddock focuses on abrasive selection, equipment evaluation, equipment maintenance & reduction of abrasive consumption. Other services include Screen Analysis & Background Radiation Testing.


Novatek Corporation
Dustless Coatings Removal

Strip it, clean it, and profile it,
all dust free! High production
rates and Blast like finishes.
Comply with new lead
standards.


US Minerals
US Minerals -
Black Magnum

With nationwide production and distribution capabilities, U.S. Minerals supplies a complete range of coal slag and other abrasives to meet all of your blasting needs.


Thermion Inc
Buy Back Program

We are offering $5,000
credit for your old Model
This drive system is
being discontinued by
the manufacturer.
More information at
thermioninc.com
877.884.3428


Termarust Technologies
Termarust (HR CSA) Chemically Stops
Active Corrosion

Hydro Utility Penstock Overcoated in 1997. Was power washed and overcoated with major cost saving. No environmental impact with Termarust's low LC50 of 41,007 ppm.


Ethox Chemicals LLC
Ethoflex® ER instantly upgrades your epoxy!

The only epoxy additive that improves flexibility, corrosion resistance, toughness, and adhesion, without hurting pot life, cure time, or increasing VOCs.


HoldTight Solutions Inc.
NO FLASH RUST -
NO CONTAMINANTS

Our HoldTight®102 salt remover & flash rust preventer prevents flash
rust by removing surface contaminants. It has no equal; only wannabees.
Contact us for your
nearest distributor.
(800) 319.8802 sales@holdtight.com


Advanced Recycling Systems
ADVANCED RECYCLING SYSTEMS (ARS)

Recycling Machines, Dust Collectors, Rapid Deployment units are time-tested and approved for the rugged industrial environment. Contact ARS today!
(330)536-8210


RPB Respiratory
AN INSTANTLY CLEAN VISOR? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

With RPB Safety’s new Nova 3 Cassette Lens System which has been specifically designed to save you time and money! See the benefits for yourself now!

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2015, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com