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October 29, 2010

Election Time

Walking down the street one day, a high-ranking politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "What we do with high officials like yourself is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, that won’t be necessary. I want to be in Heaven," says the politician.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts the politician to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him; everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

Before he realizes it, it’s time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven, where St. Peter is waiting for him.

For the next 24 hours, the politician joins a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.

"Well, then,” St. Peter says, “you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The politician answers, "Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful and all, but Hell was fantastic!  I choose to go there."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he’s in the middle of a blazing, barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, wallowing in the flaming ruins.

"I don't understand," the politician stammers to the Devil. “Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. This place promised to be wonderful, and now all that’s here is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday, we were campaigning. Today, you voted for us!"

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