PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

June 18, 2014

Last Gasp

Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.

As the preacher stood next to the bed, Fred’s condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

The preacher handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note before breathing his last.

The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, however, as he was finishing the eulogy, the preacher realized that he still had the note in his pocket.

“You know,” he told the mourners, “Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven’t looked at it, but knowing him, I’m sure there’s a word of inspiration there for us all.”

He opened the note, and read, “Please step to your left; you’re standing on my oxygen tube!”

Current Item rating: 4.4 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

June 17, 2014
Night Owls
A man is in bed ...

June 16, 2014
Department of Corrections
Police in Los Angeles ...

June 13, 2014
Baby on Board
A man called 911 ...

June 12, 2014
Spin Doctor
The doctor walks into ...

June 11, 2014
Watch This
Jennifer watched as the cashier...

June 11, 2014
Holy Mackerel
A couple of priests ...

June 10, 2014
Getting Wired
The lumberjack loved...

June 9, 2014
Life Explained by Graphs
Your intended career...

June 6, 2014
Dead to Rights
“Doctor, how many...

June 5, 2014
Common Sense on Trial
How was your first...

June 4, 2014
Only a Little
My daughter-in-law was driving...

June 3, 2014
How You’ve Changed!
During my mother’s...

June 2, 2014
Lampooning Lance
Two Hollywood studios...

May 30, 2014
Selling It
Time traveler needs...

May 29, 2014
Stop the Presses
British Left Waffles...


See humor archive

Blastox/The TDJ Group, Inc.
Blastox - One Step
Lead Abatement

Don't waste money on added labor steps with other methods. Don't mix, meter or apply at the job-site. Avoid strict hazardous waste rules.
Let your painters paint


Avalotis Corporation
Choose experience. Choose quality. Choose safety.

Avalotis Corporation has been meeting and exceeding clients’ specifications and expectations for almost 50 years. The first name in painting and protective coatings: Avalotis.


PreTox Products - NexTec, Inc.
GOT LEAD? Specify Pretox System products

The ONLY Lead Stabilizer Compatible with All Paint Removal Methods. Works with all Blast Media: Grits | Recyclable Abrasives | CO2 | Water | Power Tools | Etc. Call Dave Steffen at 800.338.8296.


Blastman Robotics Ltd.
Robotic Blast Cleaning

Replace manual blasting with new Blastman robot models. Contact us to boost your production and save costs!


Carboline Company
Fireproofing Solutions

Pyroclad® X1 Thermo-Lag® Pyrocrete® – protecting against hydrocarbon and jet fires, explosions, and cryogenic spills.


Novatek Corporation
Dustless Coatings Removal

Strip it, clean it, and profile it,
all dust free! High production
rates and Blast like finishes.
Comply with new lead
standards.


Advanced Recycling Systems
ADVANCED RECYCLING SYSTEMS (ARS)

Recycling Machines, Dust Collectors, Rapid Deployment units are time-tested and approved for the rugged industrial environment. Contact ARS today!
(330)536-8210


US Minerals
US Minerals -
Black Magnum

With nationwide production and distribution capabilities, U.S. Minerals supplies a complete range of coal slag and other abrasives to meet all of your blasting needs.


Sherwin-Williams
Sherwin-Williams Protective & Marine Coatings

With 4,000 distribution points and 3,700+ years of experience, Sherwin-Williams delivers the products, support and expertise you need, right where you need it.


Park Derochie Coatings Ltd.
www.ParkDerochie.com

Coatings          Fireproofing
Sandblasting     Scaffolding
Metalizing           Insulation

• Shop & Field Services
• SSPC Certified
• NACE Inspectors on staff
• New Construction &
  Maintenance Programs

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2016, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com