PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

June 18, 2014

Last Gasp

Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.

As the preacher stood next to the bed, Fred’s condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

The preacher handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note before breathing his last.

The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, however, as he was finishing the eulogy, the preacher realized that he still had the note in his pocket.

“You know,” he told the mourners, “Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven’t looked at it, but knowing him, I’m sure there’s a word of inspiration there for us all.”

He opened the note, and read, “Please step to your left; you’re standing on my oxygen tube!”

Current Item rating: 4.4 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

June 17, 2014
Night Owls
A man is in bed ...

June 16, 2014
Department of Corrections
Police in Los Angeles ...

June 13, 2014
Baby on Board
A man called 911 ...

June 12, 2014
Spin Doctor
The doctor walks into ...

June 11, 2014
Watch This
Jennifer watched as the cashier...

June 11, 2014
Holy Mackerel
A couple of priests ...

June 10, 2014
Getting Wired
The lumberjack loved...

June 9, 2014
Life Explained by Graphs
Your intended career...

June 6, 2014
Dead to Rights
“Doctor, how many...

June 5, 2014
Common Sense on Trial
How was your first...

June 4, 2014
Only a Little
My daughter-in-law was driving...

June 3, 2014
How You’ve Changed!
During my mother’s...

June 2, 2014
Lampooning Lance
Two Hollywood studios...

May 30, 2014
Selling It
Time traveler needs...

May 29, 2014
Stop the Presses
British Left Waffles...


See humor archive

Trelawny Surface Preparation Technology
Surface Preparation Equipment

Manufacturer of needle scalers, grinders, scarifiers and scabblers. Pneumatic tools for Marine and Construction. US distributor CS Unitec: 800-700-5919


PreTox Products - NexTec, Inc.
GOT LEAD? Specify Pretox System products

The ONLY Lead Stabilizer Compatible with All Paint Removal Methods. Works with all Blast Media: Grits | Recyclable Abrasives | CO2 | Water | Power Tools | Etc. Call Dave Steffen at 800.338.8296.


Carboline Company
Hydrocarbon Fire & Jet Fire Protection

Pyroclad X1 is the latest breakthrough in epoxy based intumescent fireproofing technology


Lignomat USA Ltd.
A dependable Source for Moisture Meters

Lignomat manufactures pin, pinless and in-situ probe meters for concrete and other building materials. Call 800-227-2105 to find the best moisture measuring device for your application.


SAFE Systems, Inc.
Portable Dust Collectors for Tough Environments

Trailer and skid-mounted models in numerous sizes, powered by electric and/or diesel. Sloped roofs, multiple dust inlets, high static, dampered fans. Lockable power & drive compartments.


KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office
KTA Analyzes
Coating Failures

• Field Diagnosis
• Lab Diagnosis
• Determination of Cause
• Recommendations
www.kta.com
800-245-6379


Termarust Technologies
Termarust (HR CSA) Chemically Stops
Active Corrosion

Truss bridge treated in 2000 with Termarust's (HR CSA) field-proven rust mitigation system chemically stopped corrosion, crevice corrosion & pack rust.


Fischer Technology Inc.
MP0R with rotating display screen

Automatic rotating display screen just like your smart phone. Click for Video
Call 800-243-8417


US Minerals
US Minerals -
Black Magnum

With nationwide production and distribution capabilities, U.S. Minerals supplies a complete range of coal slag and other abrasives to meet all of your blasting needs.


DeFelsko Corporation
PosiTector Inspection Kits

PosiTector 6000 Coating Thickness Gage easily converts to a surface profile gage, dew point meter or ultrasonic wall thickness gage with a simple probe change.

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2015, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com