| Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise


Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

May 5, 2014

First Things First

A famous scientist developed a formula to bring statues to life. He went to a local park to try it out on a statue of Gen. Ulysses S. Grant.

After application, the general began to move, and soon was completely alive!

Delighted and astonished, the scientist asked, “What’s the first thing you’ll do, General?”

The general pulled his pistol and replied, “Kill about a million damn pigeons!”

Current Item rating: 3.3 out of 5

Rate this Item:

2 3 4 HI-larious
Your Rating:


Humor Archive | Submit your own Item

Previous items from the past weeks

May 2, 2014
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Your husband is not...

May 1, 2014
Miscellaneous Terms
An insect that makes...

April 30, 2014
Fat-Free Fries
I recently stopped at...

April 29, 2014
Words of Wisdom
I always wanted to be...

April 28, 2014
Miscellaneous Terms
Mud with the juice...

April 25, 2014
The Butcher, The Baker, The Dairy Farmer
It had been many years...

April 24, 2014
New Rules
Stop sending me ...

April 23, 2014
New Miracle Diet
A doctor puts his obese...

April 22, 2014
Top Reasons I Hate My Cubicle
Damned near impossible...

April 21, 2014
Miscellaneous Terms
A person who has stopped...

April 18, 2014
Daily Prayer
Dear God...

April 17, 2014
3 For 3
My stuffing was...

April 16, 2014
New Rules
Stop saying that...

April 15, 2014
Monkey Business
A small Wild Animal Park...

April 14, 2014
Top Reasons I Hate My Cubicle
Being told to...

See humor archive

AW Chesterton
ARC Protective Coatings

perform reliably under the most demanding exposures in the toughest process conditions. Use our Coating Selector Tool for your application needs at

DeFelsko Corporation
PosiTest Automatic Adhesion Tester

Electronically controlled hydraulic pump applies smooth and continuous pull-off pressure at user selectable rates. No twisting, pumping or cranking.

Dampney Co., Inc.
High Temperature White Paint

New Coating with not yellow, remains white and will withstand temperatures up to 1,200ºF


The Next Generation
of Blasting

• Lightest
• Coolest
• Most Comfortable
• Most Dependable

Armakleen Company, The
ARMEX when nondestructive cleaning is critical

Use ARMEX to clean, remove paint and degrease a wide variety of substrates including metals, plastics, composites and masonry materials like brick, concrete and natural stone.

Safway Services
Suspended Access Made Easy With QuikDeck™

The smart choice for suspended access, QuikDeck’s interchangeable, lightweight components make them easy to set up and reassemble when you need to move.

AGC Chemicals
FEVE Coated Water Tank Mural Greets Panama City Visitors

LUMIFLON based coatings can last up to 30 years without fading, offering a low-maintenance solution that retains color and gloss and can be field-applied.

Blastox/The TDJ Group, Inc.
Blastox - One Step
Lead Abatement

Don't waste money on added labor steps with other methods. Don't mix, meter or apply at the job-site. Avoid strict hazardous waste rules.
Let your painters paint

DeHumidification Technologies

DH Tech has the most innovative and reliable equipment available to
control humidity efficiently
and effectively.

Ethox Chemicals LLC
Ethoflex® ER instantly upgrades your epoxy!

The only epoxy additive that improves flexibility, corrosion resistance, toughness, and adhesion, without hurting pot life, cure time, or increasing VOCs.

Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us

© Copyright 2000-2015, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail