PaintSquare.com
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on LinkedIn Like us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Visit the TPC Store
Search the site

 

Advertisement

PaintSquare


Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

April 24, 2014

New Rules

New Rule: Stop sending me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years: because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served out a window unless you’re a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of fast-food chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn’t a sport; it’s one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too danged exciting. What’s next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They’re already doing that. It’s called The Howard Stern Show.

Current Item rating: 3.1 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

April 23, 2014
New Miracle Diet
A doctor puts his obese...

April 22, 2014
Top Reasons I Hate My Cubicle
Damned near impossible...

April 21, 2014
Miscellaneous Terms
A person who has stopped...

April 18, 2014
Daily Prayer
Dear God...

April 17, 2014
3 For 3
My stuffing was...

April 16, 2014
New Rules
Stop saying that...

April 15, 2014
Monkey Business
A small Wild Animal Park...

April 14, 2014
Top Reasons I Hate My Cubicle
Being told to...

April 11, 2014
Hey!
A doctor calls...

April 10, 2014
Since You Asked
A truck driver is rolling...

April 9, 2014
Always Be Prepared
Dorothy and Edna...

April 8, 2014
It Was Nothing
There were still a few...

April 7, 2014
Nick of Time
A guy arrives...

April 4, 2014
Legal Lions
A gang of robbers...

April 3, 2014
Making the Grade
The nineteenth century...


See humor archive
Advertisements
 
Clemco Industries Corp.
 
Maximum Dust Suppression Systems Start at $14,950
 
The system comprises proven technology and equipment with user-friendly flexibility in mind. See it in action.
 

 
Safway Services
 
Safeguard Assets. Ensure Productivity. HAKI®
 
Protect assets and equipment. Keep facilities open and operational. Maintain schedules regardless of weather. Ensure smooth and continuous production. Easy to erect. Safway is the primary distributor of HAKI® products including HAKISPAN and HAKITEC® 750 – in North America.
 

 
Strategic Materials Inc.
 
Crushed Glass Abrasives
 
TruAbrasives™, a clean crushed glass abrasive superior to other abrasives for performance, health, and environmental benefits.
 

 
Blastox/The TDJ Group, Inc.
 
Blastox® - One Step Lead Abatement
 
Sandblast additive delivered to jobsite pre-blended to eliminate hazardous abrasive wastes. Why mix, meter or apply at the job-site? Blast with ease and
Let your painters paint!
1(800)-252-7869
 

 
SEMicro Division, M.E. Taylor Engineering, Inc.
 
Coatings Adhesion Testers
 
The PATTI® accurately measures the bond strength between coating & substrate. Outfitted properly, the surface can be rough, porous, or curved & >10K psi strong!
 

 
RBW Enterprises, Inc.
 
Robotic Blasting and Painting
 
When using the FasterBlaster and FasterPainter, blasting and painting can be conducted simultaneously. View the video for a full explanation of the operation.
 

 
Tnemec Company, Inc.
 
Online Coating Courses from Tnemec
 
For decades, Tnemec has offered its expertise to clients presenting face-to-face coatings courses. Now, these presentations are available to anyone for CEUs at Tnemec University.
 

 
W Abrasives
 
New blast suction and recycling system!
 
Phenics systems, made by W Abrasives, is a new way to transform traditional site blasting by enabling recovery and recycling of steel grit.
 

 
Advanced Recycling Systems
 
Self-contained Vacuum Trailer
 
Stand alone or combine with ARS recyclers for longer vacuum retrievals!
Contact ARS at 330.536.8210 or visit www.arsrecycling.com.
 

 
BASF
 
New resins from BASF will have metals loving water!
 
Excellent corrosion resistance, low VOC, high gloss, thin films www.basf.us/industrialcoatings dpsolutions@basf.com 800-231-7868
 

 
 
 

Technology Publishing Co., 1501 Reedsdale Street, Suite 2008, Pittsburgh, PA 15233

TEL 1-412-431-8300  • FAX  1-412-431-5428  •  EMAIL webmaster@paintsquare.com


The Technology Publishing Network

Durability + Design PaintSquare the Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us