PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

April 24, 2014

New Rules

New Rule: Stop sending me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years: because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served out a window unless you’re a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of fast-food chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn’t a sport; it’s one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too danged exciting. What’s next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They’re already doing that. It’s called The Howard Stern Show.

Current Item rating: 3.1 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

April 23, 2014
New Miracle Diet
A doctor puts his obese...

April 22, 2014
Top Reasons I Hate My Cubicle
Damned near impossible...

April 21, 2014
Miscellaneous Terms
A person who has stopped...

April 18, 2014
Daily Prayer
Dear God...

April 17, 2014
3 For 3
My stuffing was...

April 16, 2014
New Rules
Stop saying that...

April 15, 2014
Monkey Business
A small Wild Animal Park...

April 14, 2014
Top Reasons I Hate My Cubicle
Being told to...

April 11, 2014
Hey!
A doctor calls...

April 10, 2014
Since You Asked
A truck driver is rolling...

April 9, 2014
Always Be Prepared
Dorothy and Edna...

April 8, 2014
It Was Nothing
There were still a few...

April 7, 2014
Nick of Time
A guy arrives...

April 4, 2014
Legal Lions
A gang of robbers...

April 3, 2014
Making the Grade
The nineteenth century...


See humor archive

Harsco
Find BLACK BEAUTY® Abrasives

Use our online tool to search by address, city or zip code to find where you can buy BLACK BEAUTY® abrasives. Or call us toll free: 1-888-733-3646


Carlisle Fluid Technologies
Built for Tough Jobs

From Epoxies to Urethanes to other high solid coatings, the new Binks Airless 75 delivers a great finish using an ergonomic design. Visit binks.com for more information.


Mitsubishi Gas Chemical America
Performance Amine 1,3-BAC

A highly reactive cycloaliphatic diamine offering superior performance. Reasonable cost and curing efficacy makes it suitable for all types of epoxy resin applications.


Abrasives Inc.
Check our Prices for Blast Abrasives

Faced with higher abrasive costs? We invite you to call & check our rates on Black Magic® coal slag and other quality blast materials. Abrasives Inc. 800-584-7524


BASF
New resins from BASF will have metals loving water:

Excellent corrosion resistance, low VOC, high gloss, thin films basf.us/industrialcoatings
polyorders@basf.com
800-231-7868


Corrosion Probe, Inc.
From Detection to Correction

Corrosion Probe, Inc. has the Most Concrete Coatings Experience and Expertise. Contact us today at
860-767-4402, www.cpiengineering.com


able equipment rental
RENTALS | SALES | SERVICE | PARTS

Construction equipment, plus compressors up to 1,800 cfm of air power & a fleet of service vehicles providing repairs to customer owned fleets. 866-468-2666.
www.ableequipment.com


Axxiom Manufacturing
Schmidt Improves Conversion Kits

Schmidt's conversion kits turn out-of-date blast pots into high quality, efficient blasters. Quick, easy to install with step by step instructions.
Call 1-800-231-2085


Sidewinder/Persyst Enterprises, Inc.
The Sidewinder Model M2 Solvent Recycler

Combat the rising cost of gunwash, thinners, acetone & more while drastically reducing waste disposal coat.


Tarps manufacturing, Inc.
QUALITY MADE IN AMERICA —Available near you!

CLICK to get a behind-the-scenes look at how Tarps Manufacturing makes the highest-quality tarps right here in the USA — available nationwide.

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2016, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com