PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

January 21, 2014

Your Attention, Please!

Recent actual announcements from the London Underground:

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction.”

“Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any.”

“Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Mile End and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination.”

Current Item rating: 3.2 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

January 20, 2014
Extra, Extra!
News from the UK!...

January 17, 2014
Extra, Extra!
News from the UK!...

January 16, 2014
Gone Fishin’
A man calls home...

January 15, 2014
3 Wise Men
Three men died...

January 14, 2014
Making a Good Thing Better
A priest says...

January 13, 2014
Pardon Me
Roy Rogers is...

January 10, 2014
The Truth About Exercise
I don’t jog...

January 9, 2014
The Truth About Exercise
I have flabby...

January 8, 2014
The Truth About Exercise
I have to exercise...

January 7, 2014
The Truth About Exercise
My grandmother started...

January 6, 2014
3 Types
There are three...

January 3, 2014
Before It's Too Late
Minister Reeves was...

January 2, 2014
Extra! Extra!
Rangers get whiff...

December 31, 2013
Extra! Extra!
Starvation can lead...

December 30, 2013
Extra! Extra!
New sick policy...


See humor archive

Armakleen Company, The
ARMEX when nondestructive cleaning is critical

The gentle physical propriety of baking soda but yet aggressive cleaning ability is what makes ARMEX the only choice for nondestructive abrasive blasting.


Carboline Company
Submit your Resume Now
carboline.com/careers

Carboline is in need of people who are entrepreneurial, competitive, self-motivated, and have a winner's attitude. Click the above link for available opportunities.


Advanced Recycling Systems
ADVANCED RECYCLING SYSTEMS (ARS)

Recycling Machines, Dust Collectors, Rapid Deployment units are time-tested and approved for the rugged industrial environment. Contact ARS today!
(330)536-8210


Novetas Solutions
Number 1 Crushed Glass Abrasive in America!

Manufactured from 100% Recycled Glass.
NO Crystalline Silica,
Beryllium & Arsenic
Great White Metal Finish!
4 plants on Navy QPL
Call us at 866-775-6226


SAFE Systems, Inc.
Enduroguard -
The Tough Cable
for a Tough Industry.

Reduce maintenance costs and down time, increase job site safety with Enduroguard Cable. Available exclusively from SAFE Systems. UL listed, flexible, abrasion resistant and cut resistant.


HoldTight Solutions Inc.
NO FLASH RUST -
NO CONTAMINANTS

Our HoldTight®102 salt remover & flash rush inhibitor prevents flash rust by removing surface contaminants.
Contact us for your nearest distributor. (800) 319.8802 sales@holdtight.com


Minerals Research & Recovery

HIGH PERFORMANCE ABRASIVES


“Made in the USA!”

Why recycle waste from other countries? Go FASTER, CLEANER, at 1/3 THE COST with MR&R “All-American” Sharpshot®HP!!

WATCH THE VIDEO


Chicago Corrosion Group
Vendor-neutral corrosion consulting

What you don’t know about painting is costing you a fortune. Call today to see how CCG’s vendor-neutral, owner’s advocacy saves our clients millions.


U.S. Zinc
Historic Reliability. Innovative Performance.

The reliable protection properties of our zinc dust help combat deterioration and corrosion in your paints and coatings. U.S. Zinc - Helping the world work™

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2015, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com