PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

November 13, 2013

If He Had a Hammer

From the bench, the judge says to the defendant, “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “Lousy scum!”

The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer.”

The voice again yells out, “Rotten schmuck!”

The judge stops and addresses the heckler, “Sir, I understand your pain at these crimes. But no more outbursts, or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”

The man stands up and says, “I’m sorry, your honor, but I’ve lived next door to that guy for 15 years--and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one!”

Current Item rating: 3.2 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

November 12, 2013
A Matter of Fact
A grenade thrown...

November 11, 2013
Contradiction
A man visiting a graveyard...

November 8, 2013
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
A man came home...

November 7, 2013
That's So Punny
Ed sent 10 puns...

November 6, 2013
A Matter of Fact
The algebra teacher confiscated...

November 5, 2013
No Pain, No Gain.
Did you hear about...

November 4, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
Why are hemorrhoids...

November 1, 2013
It's Elementary
Two hydrogen atoms...

October 31, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
If you ate both...

October 30, 2013
Learning the Hard Way
Two Eskimos sitting...

October 29, 2013
Common Sense
Two hats...

October 28, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
Do infants enjoy...

October 25, 2013
Double Duty
Two guys are sitting...

October 24, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
What was the best...

October 23, 2013
Dream On
A shy man at the library...


See humor archive

Graco Inc.
Eco-Friendly Surface Prep

• Blast with 92% less dust
• Use less media
• Less containment & disposal  costs
Graco® EcoQuip® Vapor Abrasive® Blast Equipment Learn more


Novetas Solutions
Abrasive Blasting near or over water?

100% Recycled Glass! NO Arsenic, Beryllium or other Toxic Metals! Great White Metal Finish and Safer than Slags! Call us at 866-775-6226


N.T. Ruddock Co.

Our Abrasives Hold Up Under Pressure

N. T. Ruddock focuses on abrasive selection, equipment evaluation, equipment maintenance & reduction of abrasive consumption. Other services include Screen Analysis & Background Radiation Testing.


Clemco International GmbH
Global engineering-trusted solutions

For more than 70 years, Clemco has provided the highest quality blast equipment with a total commitment to comfort and safety.


Safway Services
One Source. Every Solution.

The Safway Group is your source for multiservices. Painting, coating, insulation and more – all from the most trusted name in the industry.


Montipower, Inc.
The MBX Bristle Blaster

Get a 2.7 to 3.3 mil profile and a Near White Metal Clean. For info visit www.mbxit.com or call 877 629-8777


DeFelsko Corporation
A Smart New Way to Measure

PosiTector SmartLink and free mobile app turns your cell phone or tablet into a virtual PosiTector gage.


Blastman Robotics Ltd.
Robotic Blast Cleaning

Replace manual blasting with new Blastman robot models. Contact us to boost your production and save costs!


Hempel (USA) Inc.
Wider range of Hempel Protective Coatings now approved by Norsok.

Proven high performance products that protect your assets. Contact us today at protective@hempel.com to find out more.


Mitsubishi Gas Chemical America
Performance Amine 1,3-BAC

A highly reactive cycloaliphatic diamine offering superior performance. Reasonable cost and curing efficacy makes it suitable for all types of epoxy resin applications.

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2016, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com