PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

November 13, 2013

If He Had a Hammer

From the bench, the judge says to the defendant, “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “Lousy scum!”

The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer.”

The voice again yells out, “Rotten schmuck!”

The judge stops and addresses the heckler, “Sir, I understand your pain at these crimes. But no more outbursts, or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”

The man stands up and says, “I’m sorry, your honor, but I’ve lived next door to that guy for 15 years--and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one!”

Current Item rating: 3.2 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

November 12, 2013
A Matter of Fact
A grenade thrown...

November 11, 2013
Contradiction
A man visiting a graveyard...

November 8, 2013
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
A man came home...

November 7, 2013
That's So Punny
Ed sent 10 puns...

November 6, 2013
A Matter of Fact
The algebra teacher confiscated...

November 5, 2013
No Pain, No Gain.
Did you hear about...

November 4, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
Why are hemorrhoids...

November 1, 2013
It's Elementary
Two hydrogen atoms...

October 31, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
If you ate both...

October 30, 2013
Learning the Hard Way
Two Eskimos sitting...

October 29, 2013
Common Sense
Two hats...

October 28, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
Do infants enjoy...

October 25, 2013
Double Duty
Two guys are sitting...

October 24, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
What was the best...

October 23, 2013
Dream On
A shy man at the library...


See humor archive

Corrosion Probe, Inc.
From Detection to Correction

Corrosion Probe, Inc. has the Most Concrete Coatings Experience and Expertise. Contact us today at
860-767-4402, www.cpiengineering.com


BASF
New resins from BASF will have metals loving water:

Excellent corrosion resistance, low VOC, high gloss, thin films basf.us/industrialcoatings
polyorders@basf.com
800-231-7868


DeFelsko Corporation
NEW PosiTector Shore Harness Durometer

PosiTector SHD measures the hardness of non-metallic materials. Features a digital display, measurement timer, memory, and PosiTector interchangeability.


Sherwin-Williams
Sherwin-Williams Water & Wastewater App

Our coatings and linings expertise available 24/7, allowing you to explore the best Sherwin-Williams solutions for your water and wastewater treatment facility. Download today!


SSPC: The Society for Protective Coatings
http://www.sspc.org/

Join SSPC and Enhance
Your Career !


WINOA Group
W Abrasives - Surf Prep Pack

Experts in surface preparation are not working only on greens. To discover the SURF PREP PACK dedicated to experts. Visit our website, www.wabrasives.com.


DeHumidification Technologies
HUMIDITY PROBLEMS?

DH Tech has the most innovative and reliable equipment available to
control humidity efficiently
and effectively.
IT'S UNDER CONTROL!


SABRE Autonomous Solutions
Safety, Productivity, Quality. Robotic Blasting

Learn how this simple to use, field deployed, automatic robot is eliminating hazards in major confined, cluttered and complex surface preparation projects.


KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office
KTA-Tator EH&S Services

• Ambient & Worker Exposure Air Monitoring
• Safety & Health Program Development
• Lead Paint Assessments
& Specifications
• Health Hazard & Jobsite Safety Assessments
Call 1-800-245-6379


Sika-Us
Sika® Industrial Floor Coatings

Click to learn about floor and wall systems relied upon for performance, durability, easy maintenance and aesthetics across the every industry and environment.

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2016, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com