PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

November 13, 2013

If He Had a Hammer

From the bench, the judge says to the defendant, “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “Lousy scum!”

The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer.”

The voice again yells out, “Rotten schmuck!”

The judge stops and addresses the heckler, “Sir, I understand your pain at these crimes. But no more outbursts, or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”

The man stands up and says, “I’m sorry, your honor, but I’ve lived next door to that guy for 15 years--and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one!”

Current Item rating: 3.2 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

November 12, 2013
A Matter of Fact
A grenade thrown...

November 11, 2013
Contradiction
A man visiting a graveyard...

November 8, 2013
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
A man came home...

November 7, 2013
That's So Punny
Ed sent 10 puns...

November 6, 2013
A Matter of Fact
The algebra teacher confiscated...

November 5, 2013
No Pain, No Gain.
Did you hear about...

November 4, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
Why are hemorrhoids...

November 1, 2013
It's Elementary
Two hydrogen atoms...

October 31, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
If you ate both...

October 30, 2013
Learning the Hard Way
Two Eskimos sitting...

October 29, 2013
Common Sense
Two hats...

October 28, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
Do infants enjoy...

October 25, 2013
Double Duty
Two guys are sitting...

October 24, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
What was the best...

October 23, 2013
Dream On
A shy man at the library...


See humor archive

WINOA Group
W Abrasives - Surf Prep Pack

Experts in surface preparation are not working only on greens. To discover the SURF PREP PACK dedicated to experts. Visit our website, www.wabrasives.com.


Dampney Co., Inc.
High Temperature White Paint

New Coating with not yellow, remains white and will withstand temperatures up to 1,200ºF


Novetas Solutions
Number 1 Crushed Glass Abrasive in America!

Manufactured from 100% Recycled Glass.
NO Crystalline Silica,
Beryllium & Arsenic
Great White Metal Finish!
4 plants on Navy QPL
Call us at 866-775-6226


HoldTight Solutions Inc.
NO FLASH RUST - NO CONTAMINANTS

Our HoldTight®102 salt remover & flash rust
preventer prevents flash
rust by removing surface contaminants. Contact us
for your nearest distributor.
(800) 319.8802 sales@holdtight.com


Safway Services
Safeguard Assets. Ensure Productivity. HAKI®

Protect assets and equipment. Keep facilities open and operational. Maintain schedules regardless of weather. Ensure smooth and continuous production. Easy to erect. Safway is the primary distributor of HAKI® products including HAKISPAN and HAKITEC® 750 – in North America.


NACE
The latest in Protective Coatings Technology

Examines every generic
type of protective coating
in detail, along with advantages and disadvantages of each. Add it to your library in print or ebook!


Fischer Technology Inc.
NEW PROBE FOR MEASURING TSA THICKNESS

aired with the PHASCOPE PMP10, Fischer’s new probe is quick and accurate for measuring thermally sprayed aluminum on stainless steel. Click to learn more.


Mitsubishi Gas Chemical America
Performance Amine 1,3-BAC

A highly reactive cycloaliphatic diamine offering superior performance. Reasonable cost and curing efficacy makes it suitable for all types of epoxy resin applications.


Clemco International GmbH
Global engineering-trusted solutions

For more than 70 years, Clemco has provided the highest quality blast equipment with a total commitment to comfort and safety.


Axxiom Manufacturing
Schmidt Improves Conversion Kits

Schmidt's conversion kits turn out-of-date blast pots into high quality, efficient blasters. Quick, easy to install with step by step instructions.
Call 1-800-231-2085

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2016, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com