PaintSquare.com


The First Word in Protective & Marine Coatings

A Product of Technology Publishing / PaintSquare
JPCL | PaintSquare News | Durability + Design | Paint BidTracker

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

November 13, 2013

If He Had a Hammer

From the bench, the judge says to the defendant, “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “Lousy scum!”

The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer.”

The voice again yells out, “Rotten schmuck!”

The judge stops and addresses the heckler, “Sir, I understand your pain at these crimes. But no more outbursts, or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”

The man stands up and says, “I’m sorry, your honor, but I’ve lived next door to that guy for 15 years--and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one!”

Current Item rating: 3.2 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

November 12, 2013
A Matter of Fact
A grenade thrown...

November 11, 2013
Contradiction
A man visiting a graveyard...

November 8, 2013
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
A man came home...

November 7, 2013
That's So Punny
Ed sent 10 puns...

November 6, 2013
A Matter of Fact
The algebra teacher confiscated...

November 5, 2013
No Pain, No Gain.
Did you hear about...

November 4, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
Why are hemorrhoids...

November 1, 2013
It's Elementary
Two hydrogen atoms...

October 31, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
If you ate both...

October 30, 2013
Learning the Hard Way
Two Eskimos sitting...

October 29, 2013
Common Sense
Two hats...

October 28, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
Do infants enjoy...

October 25, 2013
Double Duty
Two guys are sitting...

October 24, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
What was the best...

October 23, 2013
Dream On
A shy man at the library...


See humor archive

CS Unitec
Peening Preparation Tools

CS Unitec’s hand-held scarifiers are an ideal alternative to small-area shot blasting for cleaning and preparing concrete & metal surfaces. info@csunitec.com


International Paint LLC

International Paint Engineered Coatings

Learn about our solutions for:
  • Structural Steel
  • Piping & Equipment
  • Storage Tanks
  • Pressure Vessels
  • Secondary Containment


    Simpson Strong-Tie
    Repair, Protect & Strengthen

    Need a coating? Turn to Fox. We have solutions to repair, protect and strengthen concrete, steel and wood substrates. Call 888-760-0369 or email info@foxind.com


    Polyval Coatings
    Polyflex® Polyurea Linings

    exhibit outstanding versatility in use; providing abrasion resistance, superior seamless waterproofing and high-chem corrosion protection. www.polyflexlinings.com


    Armakleen Company, The
    No Ordinary Soda

    ARMEX® baking soda-based abrasives from the makers of ARM & HAMMER® products offers over 12 formulas specially engineered for your application and your budget.


    Sherwin-Williams
    Nova-Plate® 325

    • Extends Service Life
    • Single Coat Application
    • Cure to Service in 24 Hours


    Barton International
    Garnet Replaces Staurolite at Gulf Coast Shipyard

    Learn how Barton 100HPA® was proven to cut 33% faster used 35% less abrasive with 50% less dust than Staurolite at a Gulf Coast Shipyard. (800)741-7756 info@barton.com

  •  
     
     
    Technology Publishing

    The Technology Publishing Network

    The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
    Durability + Design Paint BidTracker JPCL Europe

     
    EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
    REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
    MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
     

    © Copyright 2000-2014, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
    2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com