PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

November 13, 2013

If He Had a Hammer

From the bench, the judge says to the defendant, “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “Lousy scum!”

The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer.”

The voice again yells out, “Rotten schmuck!”

The judge stops and addresses the heckler, “Sir, I understand your pain at these crimes. But no more outbursts, or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”

The man stands up and says, “I’m sorry, your honor, but I’ve lived next door to that guy for 15 years--and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one!”

Current Item rating: 3.2 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

November 12, 2013
A Matter of Fact
A grenade thrown...

November 11, 2013
Contradiction
A man visiting a graveyard...

November 8, 2013
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
A man came home...

November 7, 2013
That's So Punny
Ed sent 10 puns...

November 6, 2013
A Matter of Fact
The algebra teacher confiscated...

November 5, 2013
No Pain, No Gain.
Did you hear about...

November 4, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
Why are hemorrhoids...

November 1, 2013
It's Elementary
Two hydrogen atoms...

October 31, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
If you ate both...

October 30, 2013
Learning the Hard Way
Two Eskimos sitting...

October 29, 2013
Common Sense
Two hats...

October 28, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
Do infants enjoy...

October 25, 2013
Double Duty
Two guys are sitting...

October 24, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
What was the best...

October 23, 2013
Dream On
A shy man at the library...


See humor archive

SSPC: The Society for Protective Coatings
http://www.sspc.org/

Join SSPC and Enhance
Your Career !


GMA Garnet USA
GMA Garnet™
Natural Abrasives

- Superior cleaning
  performance
- Even Profile
- Low Dust
- Cost-Effective
- Environmentally friendly
- Recyclable up to 5 times
Tel : +1 832 243 9300


Chicago Corrosion Group
Vendor-neutral corrosion consulting

Give us a $1 and we’ll save you $10.
For more information,
call 877-516-9514


Sherwin-Williams
Sherwin-Williams Protective & Marine Coatings

With 4,000 distribution points and 3,700+ years of experience, Sherwin-Williams delivers the products, support and expertise you need, right where you need it.


Carboline Company
Hydrocarbon Fire & Jet Fire Protection

Pyroclad X1 is the latest breakthrough in epoxy based intumescent fireproofing technology


Specialty Products, Inc. (SPI)
SIGN UP TODAY – HANDS ON TRAINING

After 40 years in the coating business, SPI has trained more industry professionals than any other polyurea manufacturer. Now offering more classes at more locations than ever before!


DeFelsko Corporation
PosiTector 200 for concrete

Rugged, simple and affordable coating thickness gage for concrete measures protective coatings including polyurea.


Atlas Material Testing Technology

Helping You Put Your Products To The Test

• Outdoor Accelerated
Weathering
• Laboratory Testing
Services
• Accelerated Weathering
Instruments

www.atlas-mts.com atlas.info@ametek.com


Modern Safety Techniques
Modern Safety Techniques

See our Low Temperature Catalyst for your CO removal needs. Help to provide your workers with safe, comfortable breathing air!


Novatek Corporation
Dustless Coatings Removal

Strip it, clean it, and profile it,
all dust free! High production
rates and Blast like finishes.
Comply with new lead
standards.

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2015, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com