PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

November 8, 2013

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

A man came home from work one afternoon to find his house in mayhem. His three kids were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud. Empty food boxes and wrappers were thrown all over the front yard. The doors to his wife’s car and his house were both open.

Stepping inside, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp was smashed, and a rug was wadded up against one wall. In one room, the TV was blaring a cartoon channel; in another, toys and clothes were everywhere.

The kitchen sink was filled with dirty dishes, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a pile of sand lay blocked the back door.

The man ran upstairs, jumping toys and dirty laundry, to find his wife lounging in bed, still in her pajamas, reading a novel.

“What the hell happened here today?” he said.

“Well,” she smiled, “you know how you come home from work and ask me what in the world I did all day?”

“Yeah,” he said slowly.

“Well, today I didn’t do it.”

Current Item rating: 4.3 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

November 7, 2013
That's So Punny
Ed sent 10 puns...

November 6, 2013
A Matter of Fact
The algebra teacher confiscated...

November 5, 2013
No Pain, No Gain.
Did you hear about...

November 4, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
Why are hemorrhoids...

November 1, 2013
It's Elementary
Two hydrogen atoms...

October 31, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
If you ate both...

October 30, 2013
Learning the Hard Way
Two Eskimos sitting...

October 29, 2013
Common Sense
Two hats...

October 28, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
Do infants enjoy...

October 25, 2013
Double Duty
Two guys are sitting...

October 24, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
What was the best...

October 23, 2013
Dream On
A shy man at the library...

October 22, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
If a turtle doesn't...

October 21, 2013
Just Sayin'
Not to get technical...

October 18, 2013
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
What do you do when...


See humor archive

BASF
New resins from BASF will have metals loving water:

Excellent corrosion resistance, low VOC, high gloss, thin films basf.us/industrialcoatings
polyorders@basf.com
800-231-7868


Novatek Corporation
Novatek Corporation, Dustless Coatings Removal

Strip, clean and profile all dust free! Comply with new lead standards. Contact today: (866) 563-7800


Dampney Co., Inc.
Temperature Indicating Paint/Coating

protective coating that provide a visual warning that a pipe, vessel, reactor, transfer line, and similar equipment is overheating due to failure of refractory linings or the bypassing of hot gasses.


Desco Mfg. Co., Inc.

Dust - Free Surface Prep
Made EASY!

Efficient-Fast clean/remove
Advanced Containment
Safe - Well Below OSHA
Yes! - Innovative Solutions!
DESCO Mfg.Co., Inc.
www.descomfg.com
800-337-2648


PreTox Products - NexTec, Inc.
GOT LEAD? Specify Pretox System products

The ONLY Lead Stabilizer Compatible with All Paint Removal Methods. Works with all Blast Media: Grits | Recyclable Abrasives | CO2 | Water | Power Tools | Etc. Call Dave Steffen at 800.338.8296.


KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office
KTA-TATOR LABORATORY SERVICES

• Coating failure analysis
• Independent
  comparative testing
• Accelerated
  weathering testing
• Toxic metals testing
• A2LA Accredited
Contact: Cindy O'Malley,
at 412-788-1300 x180


SSPC: The Society for Protective Coatings
http://www.sspc.org/

Join SSPC and Enhance
Your Career !


DeFelsko Corporation
PosiTector Inspection Kits

PosiTector 6000 Coating Thickness Gage easily converts to a surface profile gage, dew point meter or ultrasonic wall thickness gage with a simple probe change


Carboline Company
Fireproofing Solutions

Pyroclad® X1 Thermo-Lag® Pyrocrete® – protecting against hydrocarbon and jet fires, explosions, and cryogenic spills.


SABRE Autonomous Solutions
Safety, Productivity, Quality. Robotic Blasting

Learn how this simple to use, field deployed, automatic robot is eliminating hazards in major confined, cluttered and complex surface preparation projects.

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2016, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com