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October 11, 2013

The NC Three-Kick Rule

A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in North Carolina.

He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field inside a fence. As the lawyer started to climb over, the farmer arrived and asked what he was doing.

The lawyer explained, but the farmer forbade him to enter his property.

“I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S.,” the lawyer snapped, “and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything!”

The farmer smiled. “I guess you don’t know how we do things here in North Carolina. We settle these small disagreements with the NC Three-Kick Rule.”

“What’s that?” the lawyer asked.

“Well,” said the farmer, “first, I kick you three times, and then you kick me three times--and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”

The attorney agreed, and the farmer’s first kick dropped him to his knees. A second kick nearly tore the man’s nose from his face; the third left him flat on his belly, heaving and retching.

Bleeding and in pain, the lawyer slowly crawled to his feet. “Ok,” he gasped, “now, it’s my turn.”

The farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have your duck.”

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