PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

April 25, 2013

You're a Statue

A woman and her lover are in bed together when her husband comes home. The woman jumps up, shoves the guy into the corner, rubs him down in baby oil, and douses him in talcum powder.

“Don’t move!” she shouts. “You’re a statue!”

When the husband comes upstairs and asks about the new decoration, the wife explains that the Smiths next door had recently acquired a statue for their bedroom--and if they could, so could she.

The couple goes to bed, but at midnight the husband goes downstairs, gets a glass of milk and some cookies, and comes back upstairs.

He hands the snack to the statue and says, “Here. I stood around for three days at the Smiths, and they never fed me a thing!”

Current Item rating: 3.9 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

April 24, 2013
Big Mistake
Last night I reached...

April 23, 2013
15 Things We Wouldn’t Know if it Wasn’t for the Movies
The ventilation system...

April 22, 2013
Dear Diary
Tonight, I thought my husband...

April 19, 2013
News Headlines
Survivor of Siamese...

April 18, 2013
Killer Service
One Sunday morning...

April 17, 2013
It's All Relative
A poor man walking...

April 16, 2013
News Headlines
Lansing Residents...

April 15, 2013
Let's Be Honest
A cabbie picks up...

April 12, 2013
Major Deterrent
As a pre-med student...

April 11, 2013
Switching Off
A couple celebrated...

April 10, 2013
Walking it Off
A drunk gets on a bus...

April 9, 2013
Words of Wisdom
All that glitters...

April 8, 2013
You Must be Kidding
A lazy executive...

April 5, 2013
The Object of the Game
A group of coworkers...

April 4, 2013
Everybody's a Critic
A smart old lady...


See humor archive

Blastox/The TDJ Group, Inc.
Blastox - One Step
Lead Abatement

Don't waste money on added labor steps with other methods. Don't mix, meter or apply at the job-site. Avoid strict hazardous waste rules.
Let your painters paint


Absolute Equipment/Grand Rental Station
TIER 4 EQUIPMENT

We have Tier 4 Equipment including Air Compressors & Generators for Sale & Rent! Your job may now require Tier-4. www.absoluteequip.com or Call 412-931-6655.


Wasser High-Tech Coatings Inc.
Polyflex® Polyurea Linings

Polyflex ™ new Polyurea Geotextile Membrane System has been specifically engineered to protect the environment in containment applications.
www.polyflexlinings.com


Mitsubishi Gas Chemical America
Performance Amine 1,3-BAC

A highly reactive cycloaliphatic diamine offering superior performance. Reasonable cost and curing efficacy makes it suitable for all types of epoxy resin applications.


Desco Mfg. Co., Inc.
DUST-FREE SOLUTIONS For Lead Abatement

Tools operate at levels well below OSHA limits for hazardous material removal; meet SP11 specifications when required and low vibration tools increase productivity.


DeFelsko Corporation
PosiTector Inspection Kits

PosiTector 6000 Coating Thickness Gage easily converts to a surface profile gage, dew point meter or ultrasonic wall thickness gage with a simple probe change


SEMicro Division, M.E. Taylor Engineering, Inc.
Coatings Adhesion Testers

The PATTI® accurately measures the bond strength between coating & substrate. Outfitted properly, the surface can be rough, porous, or curved & >10K psi strong!


Safway Services
Superior Suspended Access with QuikDeck®

Get improved platform stability with QuikDeck®. Open workspace designed for fast installation and safety. Easily moved to reduce cost. Safe to the environment.


Dampney Co., Inc.
High Temperature White Paint

New Coating with not yellow, remains white and will withstand temperatures up to 1,200ºF


PreTox Products - NexTec, Inc.
GOT LEAD? Specify Pretox System products

The ONLY Lead Stabilizer Compatible with All Paint Removal Methods. Works with all Blast Media: Grits | Recyclable Abrasives | CO2 | Water | Power Tools | Etc. Call Dave Steffen at 800.338.8296.

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2016, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com