PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

April 25, 2013

You're a Statue

A woman and her lover are in bed together when her husband comes home. The woman jumps up, shoves the guy into the corner, rubs him down in baby oil, and douses him in talcum powder.

“Don’t move!” she shouts. “You’re a statue!”

When the husband comes upstairs and asks about the new decoration, the wife explains that the Smiths next door had recently acquired a statue for their bedroom--and if they could, so could she.

The couple goes to bed, but at midnight the husband goes downstairs, gets a glass of milk and some cookies, and comes back upstairs.

He hands the snack to the statue and says, “Here. I stood around for three days at the Smiths, and they never fed me a thing!”

Current Item rating: 3.9 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

April 24, 2013
Big Mistake
Last night I reached...

April 23, 2013
15 Things We Wouldn’t Know if it Wasn’t for the Movies
The ventilation system...

April 22, 2013
Dear Diary
Tonight, I thought my husband...

April 19, 2013
News Headlines
Survivor of Siamese...

April 18, 2013
Killer Service
One Sunday morning...

April 17, 2013
It's All Relative
A poor man walking...

April 16, 2013
News Headlines
Lansing Residents...

April 15, 2013
Let's Be Honest
A cabbie picks up...

April 12, 2013
Major Deterrent
As a pre-med student...

April 11, 2013
Switching Off
A couple celebrated...

April 10, 2013
Walking it Off
A drunk gets on a bus...

April 9, 2013
Words of Wisdom
All that glitters...

April 8, 2013
You Must be Kidding
A lazy executive...

April 5, 2013
The Object of the Game
A group of coworkers...

April 4, 2013
Everybody's a Critic
A smart old lady...


See humor archive

Mitsubishi Gas Chemical America
Performance Amine 1,3-BAC

A highly reactive cycloaliphatic diamine offering superior performance. Reasonable cost and curing efficacy makes it suitable for all types of epoxy resin applications.


International Paint LLC

International Paint Engineered Coatings

Learn about our solutions for:
  • Structural Steel
  • Piping & Equipment
  • Storage Tanks
  • Pressure Vessels
  • Secondary Containment


    WINOA Group
    Steel Abrasives :Think Premium

    The Premium series is the perfect mix of high-quality products and related technical services provided by skilled experts. Visit us during the GIFA (Hall15 - D14).


    Modern Safety Techniques
    Modern Safety Techniques

    With our unique LTCat, we can help to provide clean, safe breathing air to your workers. Take a look at our Breathing Air Systems, we supply at least twice as much charcoal as our competitors! Modern


    Atlantic Design, Inc.
    OUR INDUSTRY IS CHANGING!

    We should know. We’re the ones leading the way. Cleverly simple. Clearly ADI. 866.Call.ADI


    Advanced Recycling Systems
    ADVANCED RECYCLING SYSTEMS (ARS)

    Recycling Machines, Dust Collectors, Rapid Deployment units are time-tested and approved for the rugged industrial environment. Contact ARS today!
    (330)536-8210


    Armakleen Company, The
    ARMEX when nondestructive cleaning is critical

    ARMEX the original baking soda blast abrasive is a brand of Church & Dwight Co., Inc. makers of ARM & HAMMER products since 1896.


    Novetas Solutions
    Number 1 Crushed Glass Abrasive in America!

    Manufactured from 100% Recycled Glass.
    NO Crystalline Silica,
    Beryllium & Arsenic
    Great White Metal Finish!
    4 plants on Navy QPL
    Call us at 866-775-6226


    Clemco Industries Corp.
    Powerful Protection in a Small Package

    Mounts inside blast helmet, alerts operator to dangerous breathing-air condition by audible, visual, and vibratory alarms. Easily calibrated, battery operated.

  •  
     
     
    Technology Publishing

    The Technology Publishing Network

    The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
    Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

     
    EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
    REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
    MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
     

    © Copyright 2000-2015, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
    2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com