PaintSquare.com
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on LinkedIn Like us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram
Search the site

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

April 23, 2013

15 Things We Wouldn’t Know if it Wasn’t for the Movies

1. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

2. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

3. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

5. If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises in their most diaphanous underwear, which is just what they happened to be carrying with them at the time the car broke down.

6. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

7. If someone says, "I'll be right back," they won't.

8. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter Password Now.

9. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. And none of your friends have to knock when they come for a visit.

10. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

11. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

13. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will automatically be able to mirror all the steps you come up with and hear the music in your head.

14. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

And last but not least

15. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

Current Item rating: 4.1 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

April 22, 2013
Dear Diary
Tonight, I thought my husband...

April 19, 2013
News Headlines
Survivor of Siamese...

April 18, 2013
Killer Service
One Sunday morning...

April 17, 2013
It's All Relative
A poor man walking...

April 16, 2013
News Headlines
Lansing Residents...

April 15, 2013
Let's Be Honest
A cabbie picks up...

April 12, 2013
Major Deterrent
As a pre-med student...

April 11, 2013
Switching Off
A couple celebrated...

April 10, 2013
Walking it Off
A drunk gets on a bus...

April 9, 2013
Words of Wisdom
All that glitters...

April 8, 2013
You Must be Kidding
A lazy executive...

April 5, 2013
The Object of the Game
A group of coworkers...

April 4, 2013
Everybody's a Critic
A smart old lady...

April 3, 2013
Words of Wisdom
If we aren’t supposed to...

April 2, 2013
My Dog Ate My Homework
One Sunday morning...


See humor archive
Advertisements
 
Novatek Corporation
 
Novatek Corporation, Dustless Coatings Removal
 
Strip, clean and profile all dust free! Comply with new lead standards. Contact today: (866) 563-7800
 

 
Carboline Company
 
Fireproofing Solutions
 
Pyroclad® X1 Thermo-Lag® Pyrocrete® – protecting against hydrocarbon and jet fires, explosions, and cryogenic spills.
 

 
Bullard
 
The Next Generation
of Blasting
 
• Lightest
• Coolest
• Most Comfortable
• Most Dependable
 

 
Sherwin-Williams
 
Sherwin-Williams Oil & Gas App
 
Our coatings and linings expertise available 24/7, allowing you to explore the best Sherwin-Williams solutions for oil refineries, shale drilling sites, and offshore. Android users
click here. Download today!
 

 
Sidewinder/Persyst Enterprises, Inc.
 
The Sidewinder Model M2 Solvent Recycler
 
Combat the rising cost of gunwash, thinners, acetone & more while drastically reducing waste disposal coat.
 

 
International Bridge Conference
 
2017 International Bridge Conference
 
June 4-8, 2017, National Harbor, Maryland
 

 
Tarps manufacturing, Inc.
 
QUALITY MADE IN AMERICA —Available near you!
 
CLICK to get a behind-the-scenes look at how Tarps Manufacturing makes the highest-quality tarps right here in the USA — available nationwide.
 

 
W Abrasives
 
Steel Abrasives from
W Abrasives
 
As the global leader in steel abrasives, W Abrasives material is the efficient and eco-friendly solution blasting with you to reach the perfect profile.
 

 
HoldTight Solutions Inc.
 
NO FLASH RUST - NO CONTAMINANTS
 
Our HoldTight®102 salt remover & flash rust
preventer prevents flash
rust by removing surface contaminants. Contact us
for your nearest distributor.
(800) 319.8802 sales@holdtight.com
 

 
CHLOR*RID International Inc.
 
SOLUTIONS THAT WORK
 
Companies that invest in corrosion control use CHLOR RID products
  • Soluble salt removal liquid
  • Test kits to verify contamination levels
  • Surface passivation to hold the blast
INFO@CHLOR-RID.COM 800.422.3217
 

 
 
 

Technology Publishing Co., 2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951

TEL 1-412-431-8300  • FAX  1-412-431-5428  •  EMAIL webmaster@paintsquare.com


The Technology Publishing Network

Durability + Design PaintSquare the Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us