PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

April 23, 2013

15 Things We Wouldn’t Know if it Wasn’t for the Movies

1. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

2. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

3. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

5. If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises in their most diaphanous underwear, which is just what they happened to be carrying with them at the time the car broke down.

6. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

7. If someone says, "I'll be right back," they won't.

8. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter Password Now.

9. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. And none of your friends have to knock when they come for a visit.

10. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

11. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

13. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will automatically be able to mirror all the steps you come up with and hear the music in your head.

14. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

And last but not least

15. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

Current Item rating: 4.1 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

April 22, 2013
Dear Diary
Tonight, I thought my husband...

April 19, 2013
News Headlines
Survivor of Siamese...

April 18, 2013
Killer Service
One Sunday morning...

April 17, 2013
It's All Relative
A poor man walking...

April 16, 2013
News Headlines
Lansing Residents...

April 15, 2013
Let's Be Honest
A cabbie picks up...

April 12, 2013
Major Deterrent
As a pre-med student...

April 11, 2013
Switching Off
A couple celebrated...

April 10, 2013
Walking it Off
A drunk gets on a bus...

April 9, 2013
Words of Wisdom
All that glitters...

April 8, 2013
You Must be Kidding
A lazy executive...

April 5, 2013
The Object of the Game
A group of coworkers...

April 4, 2013
Everybody's a Critic
A smart old lady...

April 3, 2013
Words of Wisdom
If we aren’t supposed to...

April 2, 2013
My Dog Ate My Homework
One Sunday morning...


See humor archive

Axxiom Manufacturing
Schmidt Improves
Portable Blasters

Schmidt's VBS System reduces blowdown intensity, prevents exhaust from damaging floor while using no screens or filters. Reduces sound; Increasing safety.
Call 1-800-231-2085


PPG Protective and Marine Coatings Group
Bringing innovation to the surface.™

PPG Protective & Marine Coatings is widely recognized as a world leader in protective and marine coatings, developing innovative, cutting-edge products and services.


Novetas Solutions
Safer Abrasive! 100% Recycled Glass!

NO Free Silica, Beryllium or other human Toxins! Great White Metal Finish and safer than Slags!
Call us at 866-775- 6226


Atlantic Design, Inc.
CLICK TO SEE...

what we did to this machine! Let ADI upgrade your machine, extending the life, efficiency, and value. Any make. Like new, but better! 866.Call.ADI


Sika-Us
Sika® Industrial Floor Coatings

Click to learn about floor and wall systems relied upon for performance, durability, easy maintenance and aesthetics across the every industry and environment.


Versaflex Inc.
Best ANSI/NSF 61.5 Approved Potable Water Polyurea

VersaFlex Polyurea Earns Highest ANSI/NSF 61.5 Rating for High Temp Service, Minimum Tank Size and Max Thickness. Watch this FREE Webinar Today! Call 800-321-0906


Safway Services
Safeguard Assets. Ensure Productivity. HAKI®

Protect assets and equipment. Keep facilities open and operational. Maintain schedules regardless of weather. Ensure smooth and continuous production. Easy to erect. Safway is the primary distributor of HAKI® products including HAKISPAN and HAKITEC® 750 – in North America.


Covestro Deutschland
What keeps contractors one layer ahead when finishing their projects?

The answer: Pasquick®. Thanks to Pasquick®, one layer of coating is saved – resulting in faster workflows and earlier project finishing. Learn more.


US Minerals
US Minerals -
Black Magnum

With nationwide production and distribution capabilities, U.S. Minerals supplies a complete range of coal slag and other abrasives to meet all of your blasting needs.


DRYCO
Humidity & Temperature Control Equipment

Rental Desiccant Dehumidifiers, ArcticDRY Units, Air Conditioners, Heaters and Generators to help control the climate on your next industrial painting project. Nationwide locations, 24/7 service: (866) 379-2600 www.drycogroup.com”

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2016, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com