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April 1, 2013

A Guide to Man Talk

“I heard you” means: “I haven’t a clue about what you just said and am hoping desperately to fake it well enough so you don’t spend the next three days yelling at me.”

“You know I could never love anyone else” means “I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”

“You look terrific” means: “Please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.”

“I’m not lost” means: “No one will ever see us alive again.”

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Previous items from the past weeks

March 29, 2013
A Day Off
Two factory workers...

March 28, 2013
Syndromes
Did you hear...

March 27, 2013
Golfing and God
Father Kevin woke up...

March 26, 2013
Tax Time
A penalty...

March 25, 2013
A Guide to Man Talk
Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut...

March 22, 2013
Tax Time
What’s the difference...

March 21, 2013
Medical Advice
A doctor and his wife...

March 20, 2013
Getting Your Money's Worth
A man takes his place...

March 19, 2013
Taking Aim
Bob stood over his tee...

March 18, 2013
20/20 Vision
A cop pulls a young...

March 15, 2013
Thinking Outside the Island
Can you think...

March 14, 2013
Changing Lightbulbs
How many politicians...

March 13, 2013
Men and Women
A woman worries...

March 12, 2013
Line Striper
A 17-year-old boy...

March 11, 2013
A Guide to Man Talk
I was listening...


See humor archive
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