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March 11, 2013

A Guide to Man Talk

“I was listening to you; I just have other things on my mind” means: “I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.”

“Take a break, hon, you’re working too hard” means: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

“That’s interesting, dear” means: “Are you still talking?”

“You know how bad my memory is” means: “I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”

“I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses” means: “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”

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February 18, 2013
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