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March 11, 2013

A Guide to Man Talk

“I was listening to you; I just have other things on my mind” means: “I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.”

“Take a break, hon, you’re working too hard” means: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

“That’s interesting, dear” means: “Are you still talking?”

“You know how bad my memory is” means: “I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”

“I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses” means: “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”

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Previous items from the past weeks

March 8, 2013
Golfers in Heaven
On the golf course, George slices...

March 7, 2013
The Price of Peace
A wise old gentleman...

March 6, 2013
A New Dress
The robber looked exhausted...

March 5, 2013
Cats and Dogs
Dogs come when you...

March 4, 2013
The Wife's Birthday
A few days before her...

March 1, 2013
Goats
Groups of Americans...

February 28, 2013
Honoring a Warranty
The man charged into...

February 27, 2013
Traveling
I have been in many...

February 26, 2013
Respect
A woman was talking...

February 25, 2013
Indecision
Not long ago, my wife...

February 22, 2013
Semantics
An older couple...

February 21, 2013
A Guide to Man Talk
I’m going fishing...

February 20, 2013
Blood Drive
A husband and wife...

February 19, 2013
Conditioned Response
“Did you give the prisoner...

February 18, 2013
Working Order
My wife left a note...


See humor archive
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