PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

January 7, 2013

Steven Wrightisms

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

I’m moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

Sorry, my mind was wandering. One time, my mind went all the way to Venus on mail order and I couldn’t pay for it.

I have a map of the United States. Actual size. It says, “Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.” I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it.  People ask me where I live, and I say, “E6.”

Current Item rating: 1.2 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

January 4, 2013
Problems
A math teacher was scolding...

January 3, 2013
The Matchmaker
John the Matchmaker...

January 2, 2013
We Have the Technology
A young married woman...

December 24, 2012
The Stable
Every Christmas morning...

December 21, 2012
Lesser of Two Evils
Sister Catherine was...

December 20, 2012
Duh
What sits on the bottom...

December 19, 2012
Animal Magnetism
George was enjoying...

December 18, 2012
Smart Dog
Some rednecks were...

December 17, 2012
DNA
Two strands of...

December 14, 2012
Real Angels
Mom, do angels...

December 13, 2012
Happy Couple
A travel agent looked...

December 12, 2012
Tummy Trouble
A woman went to see...

December 10, 2012
Words of Wisdom
I stayed up all night to see...

December 7, 2012
Who Wears the Pants?
Back in the day...

December 6, 2012
Words of Wisdom
I changed my iPod...


See humor archive

Corrosion Probe, Inc.
From Detection to Correction

Corrosion Probe, Inc. has the Most Concrete Coatings Experience and Expertise. Contact us today at
860-767-4402, www.cpiengineering.com


SAFE Systems, Inc.
Portable Dust Collectors for Tough Environments

Trailer and skid-mounted models in numerous sizes, powered by electric and/or diesel. Sloped roofs, multiple dust inlets, high static, dampered fans. Lockable power & drive compartments.


Armakleen Company, The
ARMEX when nondestructive cleaning is critical

Use ARMEX to clean, remove paint and degrease a wide variety of substrates including metals, plastics, composites and masonry materials like brick, concrete and natural stone.


Chicago Corrosion Group
Vendor-neutral corrosion consulting

What you don’t know about painting is costing you a fortune. Call today to see how CCG’s vendor-neutral, owner’s advocacy saves our clients millions.


Absolute Equipment/Grand Rental Station
Portable Power from Absolute Equipment

•Compressors
•Lighting Systems
•Generators
•Light Compaction
Sales • Rental • Service
Call 1-866-931-6655
Over a century of
providing excellence.


Dampney Co., Inc.
Solar Coating

High Temperature Resistant for Solar Panels/Collectors/Tubes. Achieve selectivity with the economy and ease
of application of a paint.


Novetas Solutions
Number 1 Crushed Glass Abrasive in America!

6 NEW plants coast to coast! Safe for environment, 100% recycled glass. White Metal Finish! No unsafe toxins like Beryllium & Arsenic!
Call 866-775-6226


Elcometer, Inc.
Durability & Design meet
Performance & Reliability

Elcometer 319 Dewpoint Meter
View the technical data on the Elcometer Dewpoint meter.


Clemco Industries Corp.
Powerful Protection in a Small Package

Mounts inside blast helmet, alerts operator to dangerous breathing-air condition by audible, visual, and vibratory alarms. Easily calibrated, battery operated.


KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office
KTA Online
Instrument Catalog

• Any Manufacturer
• Any Instrument
• Any Time
Visit www.ktagage.com
Or call 800-582-4243

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2015, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com