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January 7, 2013

Steven Wrightisms

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

I’m moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

Sorry, my mind was wandering. One time, my mind went all the way to Venus on mail order and I couldn’t pay for it.

I have a map of the United States. Actual size. It says, “Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.” I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it.  People ask me where I live, and I say, “E6.”

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Previous items from the past weeks

January 4, 2013
Problems
A math teacher was scolding...

January 3, 2013
The Matchmaker
John the Matchmaker...

January 2, 2013
We Have the Technology
A young married woman...

December 24, 2012
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December 21, 2012
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December 20, 2012
Duh
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December 19, 2012
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December 18, 2012
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December 17, 2012
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December 14, 2012
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December 13, 2012
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December 12, 2012
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December 10, 2012
Words of Wisdom
I stayed up all night to see...

December 7, 2012
Who Wears the Pants?
Back in the day...

December 6, 2012
Words of Wisdom
I changed my iPod...


See humor archive
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