PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

January 7, 2013

Steven Wrightisms

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

I’m moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

Sorry, my mind was wandering. One time, my mind went all the way to Venus on mail order and I couldn’t pay for it.

I have a map of the United States. Actual size. It says, “Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.” I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it.  People ask me where I live, and I say, “E6.”

Current Item rating: 1.2 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

January 4, 2013
Problems
A math teacher was scolding...

January 3, 2013
The Matchmaker
John the Matchmaker...

January 2, 2013
We Have the Technology
A young married woman...

December 24, 2012
The Stable
Every Christmas morning...

December 21, 2012
Lesser of Two Evils
Sister Catherine was...

December 20, 2012
Duh
What sits on the bottom...

December 19, 2012
Animal Magnetism
George was enjoying...

December 18, 2012
Smart Dog
Some rednecks were...

December 17, 2012
DNA
Two strands of...

December 14, 2012
Real Angels
Mom, do angels...

December 13, 2012
Happy Couple
A travel agent looked...

December 12, 2012
Tummy Trouble
A woman went to see...

December 10, 2012
Words of Wisdom
I stayed up all night to see...

December 7, 2012
Who Wears the Pants?
Back in the day...

December 6, 2012
Words of Wisdom
I changed my iPod...


See humor archive

NACE International, The Corrosion Society
Get Hands-on Experience

In NACE’s CP Program, learn the techniques and procedures for testing, evaluating, and designing galvanic and impressed current CP systems.


HoldTight Solutions Inc.
NO FLASH RUST - NO CONTAMINANTS

Our HoldTight®102 salt remover & flash rust
preventer prevents flash
rust by removing surface contaminants. Contact us
for your nearest distributor.
(800) 319.8802 sales@holdtight.com


able equipment rental
RENTALS | SALES | SERVICE | PARTS

Construction equipment, plus compressors up to 1,800 cfm of air power & a fleet of service vehicles providing repairs to customer owned fleets. 866-468-2666.
www.ableequipment.com


Fischer Technology Inc.
DUALSCOPE®FMP100 with DataCenter IP

Transfer customized inspection plans from PC to FMP100 using step-by-step guidance with prompts and pictures throughout the measurement procedure


Termarust Technologies
Termarust (HR CSA) Chemically Stops
Active Corrosion

Truss bridge treated in 2000 with Termarust's (HR CSA) field-proven rust mitigation system chemically stopped corrosion, crevice corrosion & pack rust.


Safway Services
Your Access Advantage. QUIKDECK®

Provides safe, factory-floor-like working conditions. Can be engineered to fit almost any shape, structure or size. Modular platform easily assembled from just a few basic components. Excellent containment. Applications include vessels, offshore rigs and bridges.


Blastman Robotics Ltd.
Robotic Blast Cleaning

Replace manual blasting with new Blastman robot models. Contact us to boost your production and save costs!


Vector Technologies Ltd.
The Original Performance Proven Vacuum Solutions

Vecloader DV 145, 350hp 6200 CFM & 28’’hg. For those big jobs, choose Vector for the most powerful trailer mounted vacuum in the industry today. 800-832-4010, 414-247-7100.


Avalotis Corporation
Choose experience. Choose quality. Choose safety.

Avalotis Corporation has been meeting and exceeding clients’ specifications and expectations for almost 50 years. The first name in painting and protective coatings: Avalotis.

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2016, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com