PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

January 7, 2013

Steven Wrightisms

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

I’m moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

Sorry, my mind was wandering. One time, my mind went all the way to Venus on mail order and I couldn’t pay for it.

I have a map of the United States. Actual size. It says, “Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.” I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it.  People ask me where I live, and I say, “E6.”

Current Item rating: 1.2 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

January 4, 2013
Problems
A math teacher was scolding...

January 3, 2013
The Matchmaker
John the Matchmaker...

January 2, 2013
We Have the Technology
A young married woman...

December 24, 2012
The Stable
Every Christmas morning...

December 21, 2012
Lesser of Two Evils
Sister Catherine was...

December 20, 2012
Duh
What sits on the bottom...

December 19, 2012
Animal Magnetism
George was enjoying...

December 18, 2012
Smart Dog
Some rednecks were...

December 17, 2012
DNA
Two strands of...

December 14, 2012
Real Angels
Mom, do angels...

December 13, 2012
Happy Couple
A travel agent looked...

December 12, 2012
Tummy Trouble
A woman went to see...

December 10, 2012
Words of Wisdom
I stayed up all night to see...

December 7, 2012
Who Wears the Pants?
Back in the day...

December 6, 2012
Words of Wisdom
I changed my iPod...


See humor archive

Thermion Inc
Buy Back Program

We are offering $5,000
credit for your old Model
This drive system is
being discontinued by
the manufacturer.
More information at
thermioninc.com
877.884.3428


DeFelsko Corporation
A Smart New Way to Measure

PosiTector SmartLink and free mobile app turns your cell phone or tablet into a virtual PosiTector gage.


HoldTight Solutions Inc.
NO FLASH RUST -
NO CONTAMINANTS

Our HoldTight®102 salt remover & flash rush inhibitor prevents flash rust by removing surface contaminants.
Contact us for your nearest distributor. (800) 319.8802 sales@holdtight.com


NLB Corporation
Water Jets in Action

Video demo shows how
easily Vortex™ removes
coatings and more. Lawn-
mower-style water jet unit strips floors, ship decks, etc. quickly and keeps debris contained.


CHLOR*RID International Inc.
Free Webinar

Learn about soluble salts, along with a discussion on allowable levels.
More information at
www.chlor-rid.com,

800-422-3217


Blastox/The TDJ Group, Inc.
Blastox - One Step
Lead Abatement

Don't waste $$ on added labor steps with other methods. Don't mix, meter or apply at the job-site. Avoid strict hazardous waste rules.
Let your painters paint!


SAFE Systems, Inc.
Enduroguard -
The Tough Cable
for a Tough Industry.

Reduce maintenance costs and down time, increase job site safety with Enduroguard Cable. Available exclusively from SAFE Systems. UL listed, flexible, abrasion resistant and cut resistant.


Armorthane
Polyurethane and Polyurea Sprayed-On Protection

Buy POLYURETHANE or POLYUREA coatings and spray equipment for years of proven chemical resistance, water- and weather-proofing, and structural improvements.


Axxiom Manufacturing
Schmidt Improves Conversion Kits

Schmidt's conversion kits turn out-of-date blast pots into high quality, efficient blasters. Quick, easy to install with step by step instructions.
Call 1-800-231-2085

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2015, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com