| Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise


Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

January 7, 2013

Steven Wrightisms

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

I’m moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

Sorry, my mind was wandering. One time, my mind went all the way to Venus on mail order and I couldn’t pay for it.

I have a map of the United States. Actual size. It says, “Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.” I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it.  People ask me where I live, and I say, “E6.”

Current Item rating: 1.2 out of 5

Rate this Item:

2 3 4 HI-larious
Your Rating:


Humor Archive | Submit your own Item

Previous items from the past weeks

January 4, 2013
A math teacher was scolding...

January 3, 2013
The Matchmaker
John the Matchmaker...

January 2, 2013
We Have the Technology
A young married woman...

December 24, 2012
The Stable
Every Christmas morning...

December 21, 2012
Lesser of Two Evils
Sister Catherine was...

December 20, 2012
What sits on the bottom...

December 19, 2012
Animal Magnetism
George was enjoying...

December 18, 2012
Smart Dog
Some rednecks were...

December 17, 2012
Two strands of...

December 14, 2012
Real Angels
Mom, do angels...

December 13, 2012
Happy Couple
A travel agent looked...

December 12, 2012
Tummy Trouble
A woman went to see...

December 10, 2012
Words of Wisdom
I stayed up all night to see...

December 7, 2012
Who Wears the Pants?
Back in the day...

December 6, 2012
Words of Wisdom
I changed my iPod...

See humor archive

AGC Chemicals
The Akashi-Kaikyo Bridge is the LUMIFLON® Coatings Poster Child

LUMIFLON based coatings can last up to 30 years without fading, reducing life-cycle costs, re-application or replacement of underlying surfaces.

Advanced Recycling Systems

Recycling Machines, Dust Collectors, Rapid Deployment units are time-tested and approved for the rugged industrial environment. Contact ARS today!

DeHumidification Technologies

DH Tech has the most innovative and reliable equipment available to
control humidity efficiently
and effectively.

HoldTight Solutions Inc.

Our HoldTight®102 salt remover & flash rust preventer prevents flash
rust by removing surface contaminants. It has no equal; only wannabees.
Contact us for your
nearest distributor.
(800) 319.8802

Larson Electronics
Larson Electronics Explosion Proof Tank Lighting

Larson Electronics is a premium supplier and manufacturer of portable explosion proof lighting systems for tank cleaning and servicing lighting.

PPG Protective and Marine Coatings Group
Industrial strength performance in ONE can.

Now get the durability and protection of two components in one can: Amercoat® ONE, PSX® ONE and Sigmadur ONE.

Armakleen Company, The
ARMEX when nondestructive cleaning is critical

ARMEX the original baking soda blast abrasive is a brand of Church & Dwight Co., Inc. makers of ARM & HAMMER products since 1896.

Novetas Solutions
Number 1 Crushed Glass Abrasive in America!

6 NEW plants coast to coast! Safe for environment, 100% recycled glass. White Metal Finish! No unsafe toxins like Beryllium & Arsenic!
Call 866-775-6226

KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office
KTA Analyzes
Coating Failures

• Field Diagnosis
• Lab Diagnosis
• Determination of Cause
• Recommendations
Call 1-800-245-6379

Monti Tools, Inc.

Surface cleanliness of SSPC-10 | Anchor profile up to 4.7 mils | Removes corrosion & coatings | ATEX approved for zone 1 | | 832-623-7970

Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us

© Copyright 2000-2015, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail