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January 7, 2013

Steven Wrightisms

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

I’m moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

Sorry, my mind was wandering. One time, my mind went all the way to Venus on mail order and I couldn’t pay for it.

I have a map of the United States. Actual size. It says, “Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.” I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it.  People ask me where I live, and I say, “E6.”

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Previous items from the past weeks

January 4, 2013
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January 3, 2013
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January 2, 2013
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December 6, 2012
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See humor archive

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