PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

January 7, 2013

Steven Wrightisms

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

I’m moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

Sorry, my mind was wandering. One time, my mind went all the way to Venus on mail order and I couldn’t pay for it.

I have a map of the United States. Actual size. It says, “Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.” I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it.  People ask me where I live, and I say, “E6.”

Current Item rating: 1.2 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

January 4, 2013
Problems
A math teacher was scolding...

January 3, 2013
The Matchmaker
John the Matchmaker...

January 2, 2013
We Have the Technology
A young married woman...

December 24, 2012
The Stable
Every Christmas morning...

December 21, 2012
Lesser of Two Evils
Sister Catherine was...

December 20, 2012
Duh
What sits on the bottom...

December 19, 2012
Animal Magnetism
George was enjoying...

December 18, 2012
Smart Dog
Some rednecks were...

December 17, 2012
DNA
Two strands of...

December 14, 2012
Real Angels
Mom, do angels...

December 13, 2012
Happy Couple
A travel agent looked...

December 12, 2012
Tummy Trouble
A woman went to see...

December 10, 2012
Words of Wisdom
I stayed up all night to see...

December 7, 2012
Who Wears the Pants?
Back in the day...

December 6, 2012
Words of Wisdom
I changed my iPod...


See humor archive

Bullard

The Next Generation
of Blasting

• Lightest
• Coolest
• Most Comfortable
• Most Dependable


Dampney Co., Inc.
High Temperature Paint

• Prevent Rust / Corrosion
• High Build / Hot Apply
• Custom Colors / VOC-Compliant
• Offshore/Petro Chem/ Refining/Power Industries
• Over 90 Years of Experience


CS Unitec
Surface Prep & Material Removal

CS Unitec’s Floor Planers remove coatings & corrosion from concrete & metal surfaces. Produce keyed profiles for waterproofing applications. info@csunitec.com


GMA Garnet USA
GMA Garnet™
Natural Abrasives

- Superior cleaning
  performance
- Even Profile
- Low Dust
- Cost-Effective
- Environmentally friendly
- Recyclable up to 5 times
Tel : +1 832 243 9300


Dow Polyurethane Systems
Choose the Right Coat

Dow’s high-performance, protective polyurethane spray elastomer system increases durability for steel and concrete applications.


DeFelsko Corporation
PosiTector 200 for concrete

Rugged, simple and affordable coating thickness gage for concrete measures protective coatings including polyurea.


PaintSquare
SSPC 2014 Product Demos

Watch product demos by SSPC 2014 exhibitors. Check them out now!

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2015, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com