PaintSquare.com


The First Word in Protective & Marine Coatings

A Product of Technology Publishing / PaintSquare
JPCL | PaintSquare News | Durability + Design | Paint BidTracker

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

November 21, 2012

A Real Hero

A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.

Just when he thinks things can’t possibly get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, “Congratulations son, we’ve been waiting a long time for you.”

Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the contractor sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says, “Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 Commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don’t remember doing anything really special when I was alive.”

“Congratulations for what?” says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man’s modesty. “We’re celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!”

The contractor is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter and says “Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but I only lived to be forty.”

“That’s simply impossible son,” says Saint Peter. “We’ve added up your time sheets.”

Current Item rating: 4.1 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

November 20, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Let's face it...

November 19, 2012
Dietary Restrictions
Why don’t cannibals...

November 16, 2012
Obsolete Ads
The harder a wife works...

November 15, 2012
Something for the House
Okay, today’s Friday...

November 14, 2012
Obsolete Ads
How television benefits...

November 13, 2012
If the Shoe Fits
A lady went into a bar...

November 12, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Toothache Drops...

November 9, 2012
Working For a Living
A man drives his date...

November 8, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Isn't it time...

November 7, 2012
The Deal
Martin had one drink...

November 6, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Every Voyage...

November 5, 2012
Married for 40 Years
Recently, after celebrating...

November 2, 2012
Worms
A biology teacher...

November 1, 2012
Good Lord!
A Lutheran minister...

October 31, 2012
In His Day
Mr. Jones, the elderly school principal...


See humor archive

HoldTight Solutions Inc.
NO FLASH RUST -
NO CONTAMINANTS

Our HoldTight®102 salt remover & flash rush inhibitor prevents flash rust by removing surface contaminants.
Contact us for your nearest distributor. (800) 319.8802 sales@holdtight.com


Minerals Research & Recovery
PREMIUM SLAG ABRASIVES

Visit mrrinc.com. Companies specializing in abandonment and decommissioning projects have discovered that Sharpshot® 20X50 copper slag is an ideal product for subsea waterjet cutting.
Call Steve: 520-297-4626


Blastox/The TDJ Group, Inc.
Blastox - One Step
Lead Abatement

Don't waste $$ on added labor steps with other methods. Don't mix, meter or apply at the job-site. Avoid strict hazardous waste rules.
Let your painters paint!


KTA-Tator, Inc. - Corporate Office
KTA-Tator EH&S Services

• Ambient & Worker Exposure Air Monitoring
• Safety & Health Program Development
• Lead Paint Assessments
& Specifications
• Health Hazard & Jobsite Safety Assessments
Call 1-800-245-6379


Atlantic Design, Inc.
OUR INDUSTRY IS CHANGING!

We should know. We’re the ones leading the way. Cleverly simple. Clearly ADI. 866.Call.ADI


Mohawk Garnet
Enska by Mohawk Garnet™

A safe, efficient and economical abrasive alternative to slag and sand products. More information
at 1.866.642.7638 or info@mohawkgarnet.com Email for follow up – mheilimo@mohawkgarnet.com


Elcometer, Inc.
New Elcometer 456 Coating Thickness Gauge

Best In Class Just Got Better. Technologically Intelligent And Robust. Marvelous Design And Durability. An Earth-Shattering Revolution In Coating Inspection.

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker JPCL Europe

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2014, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com