| Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise


Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

November 21, 2012

A Real Hero

A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.

Just when he thinks things can’t possibly get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, “Congratulations son, we’ve been waiting a long time for you.”

Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the contractor sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says, “Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 Commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don’t remember doing anything really special when I was alive.”

“Congratulations for what?” says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man’s modesty. “We’re celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!”

The contractor is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter and says “Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but I only lived to be forty.”

“That’s simply impossible son,” says Saint Peter. “We’ve added up your time sheets.”

Current Item rating: 4.1 out of 5

Rate this Item:

2 3 4 HI-larious
Your Rating:


Humor Archive | Submit your own Item

Previous items from the past weeks

November 20, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Let's face it...

November 19, 2012
Dietary Restrictions
Why don’t cannibals...

November 16, 2012
Obsolete Ads
The harder a wife works...

November 15, 2012
Something for the House
Okay, today’s Friday...

November 14, 2012
Obsolete Ads
How television benefits...

November 13, 2012
If the Shoe Fits
A lady went into a bar...

November 12, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Toothache Drops...

November 9, 2012
Working For a Living
A man drives his date...

November 8, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Isn't it time...

November 7, 2012
The Deal
Martin had one drink...

November 6, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Every Voyage...

November 5, 2012
Married for 40 Years
Recently, after celebrating...

November 2, 2012
A biology teacher...

November 1, 2012
Good Lord!
A Lutheran minister...

October 31, 2012
In His Day
Mr. Jones, the elderly school principal...

See humor archive

Novatek Corporation
Novatek Corporation, Dustless Coatings Removal

Strip, clean and profile all dust free! Comply with new lead standards. Contact today: (866) 563-7800

CS Unitec
Remove Rust, Paint and More!

Remove coatings, corrosion & produce keyed surfaces with CS Unitec's floor planers. 8" & 10" cutting width. Gas, air & electric models.

SEMicro Division, M.E. Taylor Engineering, Inc.
Coatings Adhesion Testers

The PATTI® accurately measures the bond strength between coating & substrate. Outfitted properly, the surface can be rough, porous, or curved & >10K psi strong!

Modern Safety Techniques
Modern Safety Techniques

See our Low Temperature Catalyst for your CO removal needs. Help to provide your workers with safe, comfortable breathing air!

Mitsubishi Gas Chemical America
Performance Amine 1,3-BAC

A highly reactive cycloaliphatic diamine offering superior performance. Reasonable cost and curing efficacy makes it suitable for all types of epoxy resin applications.

Dehumidifiers, Sales and Consulting
How long can you hold a WHITE-METAL BLAST?

Click to learn how 30 DAYS is easy! Don Bechtol has over 40 years of experience utilizing DH for blasting/coating projects. Call today.

Absolute Equipment/Grand Rental Station

We have Tier 4 Equipment including Air Compressors & Generators for Sale & Rent! Your job may now require Tier-4. or Call 412-931-6655.

ABKaelin, LLC
ABkaelin, LLC

MONITORING-Environmental and worker monitoring CONSULTING & INSPECTION – Coatings, EHS, and compliance.

HoldTight Solutions Inc.

Our HoldTight®102 salt remover & flash rust
preventer prevents flash
rust by removing surface contaminants. Contact us
for your nearest distributor.
(800) 319.8802

Atlantic Design, Inc.

See our website for features of our best seller, the ADI 3500CFM 4-Pot Blast Vacuum Recycler. A smaller package with all the ADI power you need. 866.Call.ADI

Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us

© Copyright 2000-2016, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail