PaintSquare.com
      | Connect Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
About | Subscribe | Advertise
  

 

Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

November 21, 2012

A Real Hero

A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.

Just when he thinks things can’t possibly get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, “Congratulations son, we’ve been waiting a long time for you.”

Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the contractor sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says, “Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 Commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don’t remember doing anything really special when I was alive.”

“Congratulations for what?” says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man’s modesty. “We’re celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!”

The contractor is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter and says “Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but I only lived to be forty.”

“That’s simply impossible son,” says Saint Peter. “We’ve added up your time sheets.”

Current Item rating: 4.1 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

November 20, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Let's face it...

November 19, 2012
Dietary Restrictions
Why don’t cannibals...

November 16, 2012
Obsolete Ads
The harder a wife works...

November 15, 2012
Something for the House
Okay, today’s Friday...

November 14, 2012
Obsolete Ads
How television benefits...

November 13, 2012
If the Shoe Fits
A lady went into a bar...

November 12, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Toothache Drops...

November 9, 2012
Working For a Living
A man drives his date...

November 8, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Isn't it time...

November 7, 2012
The Deal
Martin had one drink...

November 6, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Every Voyage...

November 5, 2012
Married for 40 Years
Recently, after celebrating...

November 2, 2012
Worms
A biology teacher...

November 1, 2012
Good Lord!
A Lutheran minister...

October 31, 2012
In His Day
Mr. Jones, the elderly school principal...


See humor archive

Commercial Sand Blasting & Painting Ltd.
Reliable Service & Superior Workmanship

We’re ready to meet any of your protective coating and lining needs. We can work on your site or in our facilities, with large shops (60,000 sq ft), 40 acres of yard space, and cranes and forklifts on site.


Ethox Chemicals LLC
Ethoflex® ER instantly upgrades your epoxy!

The only epoxy additive that improves flexibility, corrosion resistance, toughness, and adhesion, without hurting pot life, cure time, or increasing VOCs.


DeFelsko Corporation
PosiTector Inspection Kits

PosiTector 6000 Coating Thickness Gage easily converts to a surface profile gage, dew point meter or ultrasonic wall thickness gage with a simple probe change.


Nationwide Overspray
Profession Overspray Removal Services

The Finest Name in Safe Overspray Removal. We specialize in removing all contaminants from any surface. Family Owned and Operated for 33 years! Fully insured. Satisfaction is guaranteed.


Novetas Solutions
Number 1 Crushed Glass Abrasive in America!

Manufactured from 100% Recycled Glass.
NO Crystalline Silica,
Beryllium & Arsenic
Great White Metal Finish!
4 plants on Navy QPL
Call us at 866-775-6226


Industrial Vacuum Equipment Corp.
Hurricane Vacuums
& Dust Collectors

Vacuum and dust collector hose, filters and related accessories.
IndustrialVacuum.com


Advanced Recycling Systems
ADVANCED RECYCLING SYSTEMS (ARS)

Recycling Machines, Dust Collectors, Rapid Deployment units are time-tested and approved for the rugged industrial environment. Contact ARS today!
(330)536-8210


NLB Corporation
MiniARM automates surface prep

NLB’s Mini ARM lets an operator control high-pressure water jets remotely, with fast tool changes for different jobs. It maximizes protection and productivity.


Safway Services
One Source. Every Solution.

The Safway Group is your source for multiservices. Painting, coating, insulation and more – all from the most trusted name in the industry.


Graco Inc.
Graco M680 Mortar Pump

Compact and portable. Great for concrete resurfacing and repairs. Handles mortars, cementitious and filled materials.
Call 877-844-7226 or info@graco.com.

 
 
 
Technology Publishing

The Technology Publishing Network

The Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings (JPCL) PaintSquare
Durability + Design Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us
 

© Copyright 2000-2015, Technology Publishing / PaintSquare, All rights reserved
2100 Wharton Street, Suite 310, Pittsburgh PA 15203-1951; Tel 1-412-431-8300; Fax 1-412-431-5428; E-mail webmaster@paintsquare.com