PaintSquare.com
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on LinkedIn Like us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Visit the TPC Store
Search the site

 

Advertisement

PaintSquare


Jokes and Humor

Jokes and Other Diversions

| More

November 21, 2012

A Real Hero

A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.

Just when he thinks things can’t possibly get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, “Congratulations son, we’ve been waiting a long time for you.”

Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the contractor sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says, “Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 Commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don’t remember doing anything really special when I was alive.”

“Congratulations for what?” says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man’s modesty. “We’re celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!”

The contractor is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter and says “Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but I only lived to be forty.”

“That’s simply impossible son,” says Saint Peter. “We’ve added up your time sheets.”

Current Item rating: 4.1 out of 5

Rate this Item:


...Really?
1
2 3 4 HI-larious
5
Your Rating:


   

Humor Archive | Submit your own Item


Previous items from the past weeks

November 20, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Let's face it...

November 19, 2012
Dietary Restrictions
Why don’t cannibals...

November 16, 2012
Obsolete Ads
The harder a wife works...

November 15, 2012
Something for the House
Okay, today’s Friday...

November 14, 2012
Obsolete Ads
How television benefits...

November 13, 2012
If the Shoe Fits
A lady went into a bar...

November 12, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Toothache Drops...

November 9, 2012
Working For a Living
A man drives his date...

November 8, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Isn't it time...

November 7, 2012
The Deal
Martin had one drink...

November 6, 2012
Obsolete Ads
Every Voyage...

November 5, 2012
Married for 40 Years
Recently, after celebrating...

November 2, 2012
Worms
A biology teacher...

November 1, 2012
Good Lord!
A Lutheran minister...

October 31, 2012
In His Day
Mr. Jones, the elderly school principal...


See humor archive
Advertisements
 
Tarps manufacturing, Inc.
 
QUALITY MADE IN AMERICA —Available near you!
 
CLICK to get a behind-the-scenes look at how Tarps Manufacturing makes the highest-quality tarps right here in the USA — available nationwide.
 

 
International WorkBoat Show
 
Power Forward
 
Join us Nov. 29 – Dec. 1 in New Orleans for the 2017 International WorkBoat Show. If it can power your business forward, you’ll find it here. Register Now!
 

 
Detail Masters
 
Overspray Removal
 
We offer professional, turnkey service and unparalleled quality!
Our process can save hundreds— even thousands of dollars. It's fast, environmentally safe and 100% guaranteed.
 

 
Montipower, Inc.
 
The MBX Bristle Blaster
 
Get a 2.7 to 3.3 mil profile and a Near White Metal Clean. For info visit www.mbxit.com or call 877 629-8777
 

 
Clemco Industries Corp.
 
Maximum Dust Suppression Systems Start at $14,950
 
The system comprises proven technology and equipment with user-friendly flexibility in mind. See it in action.
 

 
Vector Technologies Ltd.
 
The Original Performance Proven Vacuum Solutions
 
VecLoader® 616 Double Dump, Continuous Vacuum, 170 HP w/ 2,400 CFM & 28” Hg. 33% More Efficient than traditional vacuum systems! Choose Vector for the most powerful and the most reliable trailer mounted vacuums in the industry! Email us at: inquiry@vector-vacuums.com or call us at: 800-832-4010
 

 
Mitsubishi Gas Chemical America
 
Performance Amine 1,3-BAC
 
A highly reactive cycloaliphatic diamine offering superior performance. Reasonable cost and curing efficacy makes it suitable for all types of epoxy resin applications.
 

 
Axxiom Manufacturing
 
Schmidt Improves
Portable Blasters
 
Schmidt's VBS System reduces blowdown intensity, prevents exhaust from damaging floor while using no screens or filters. Reduces sound; Increasing safety.
Call 1-800-231-2085
 

 
US Minerals
 
Hit Harder. Clean Faster.
 
Black Diamond abrasive products are the toughest, most effective blasting media and supply the superior power you need to get any job done.
 

 
RBW Enterprises, Inc.
 
Robotic Blasting and Painting
 
When using the FasterBlaster and FasterPainter, blasting and painting can be conducted simultaneously. View the video for a full explanation of the operation.
 

 
 
 

Technology Publishing Co., 1501 Reedsdale Street, Suite 2008, Pittsburgh, PA 15233

TEL 1-412-431-8300  • FAX  1-412-431-5428  •  EMAIL webmaster@paintsquare.com


The Technology Publishing Network

Durability + Design PaintSquare the Journal of Protective Coatings & Linings Paint BidTracker

 
EXPLORE:      JPCL   |   PaintSquare News   |   Interact   |   Buying Guides   |   Webinars   |   Resources   |   Classifieds
REGISTER AND SUBSCRIBE:      Free PaintSquare Registration   |   Subscribe to JPCL   |   Subscribe to PaintSquare News
MORE:      About PaintSquare.com   |   Privacy policy   |   Terms & conditions   |   Site Map   |   Search   |   Contact Us